Monthly Archives: February 2011

The Amazing Advantage to Being Incredibly Nearsighted

But we were talking about genetics, and while Professorial One’s genius with microbes and viruses and tropical diseases was all used up on the older siblings, he had plenty of his wretched eyesight to dump in my DNA, with the result that I began wearing eyeglasses in the third grade, when I thought to myself, “If only the teacher would write in BRIGHT RED chalk and MUCH BIGGER, I would be able to read it.” Continue reading

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Seriously — Is My Health Insurance Company Really My Family?

One of the most memorable offerings that I received this Valentine’s Day was a gigantic red and white card, teeming with colossal, poofy, happy hearts and a warm, loving message signed, “Your Extended Family.” My health care plan. Also known … Continue reading

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The Punctuation Princess Says: Easy on the Exclamation Points! Please!

So, take that little box of exclamation points and put it in the back of the cupboard, removing it only on special, special occasions — which, incidentally, pretty much never occur on resumes, cover letters to prospective employees, business reports, or essays for a 101 English paper. Continue reading

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Michelle Obama and Tom Selleck: They Agree about Something

After he swallowed what he was chewing, the Son and Heir recalled a social groupie thing that involved a half-dozen captive boys sitting around a table, being guided in how to behave by male instructors. Much was said about how to cut one’s meat (not with the hands), where to blow one’s nose (not at the table), and what to do with one’s free hand (not on the girl’s thigh). Continue reading

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