Alone Does Not Mean Lonely; and Lonely Does Not Mean Loser

I live in a society that is desperately afraid of being alone. So alarmed are we of solitude that we define normalcy by how many groups we belong to:

“I go to church, Sunday School, and small groups.”

Spirit of the Canyon inspirational oil painting girl on rock in Grand Canyon Colorado by Steve Henderson

Some people are afraid of being alone. Others are comfortable with the concept. Extroverts versus introverts? Spirit of the Canyon, art print from Steve Henderson Collections

“I volunteer through our Give-Back-to-Others program at work.”

“I belong to many civic organizations, and we do good things for the community. I am even a leader in some of these groups.”

“I have a lot of friends, and I get together with people all the time.”

And the crowning achievement:

“I am a people person.”

Our most signature sign of failure as a human being is the diner in the cafeteria or restaurant — be it a school child or professional adult — eating alone, and I will never forget a friend in college describing his reaction to the situation this way:

The Misfit Christian Book by Carolyn Henderson at

People who think for themselves, and are comfortable not having to be in a group, are frequently labeled Misfits. Go ahead, wear the label proudly. Paperback and digital from

“I want to stand up and shout, ‘I have friends! I’m not a loser!'”

I really detest the word “loser,” and cannot see its appropriate use, especially in jest. If you are a person who not only is not afraid of being alone, but actually enjoys times of solitude, you are normal and well-balanced, regardless of what the seminar speakers say (if more of us left those people alone, they wouldn’t bother us so much — they need lots of bodies sitting in chairs to keep their program going).

Please join me at my BeliefNet column, Commonsense Christianity, to read the rest of this article, Alone But Not Lonely.

This article is linked to The Modest Mom, A Mama’s Story, What Joy Is Mine, Nourishing Joy, Life of Faith, Moms the Word, 100 pound countdown, Mopping the Floor, natural living mama, Thoughtful Spot, A Life in Balance, The Gathering spot, Frugal Crafty Home, The Chicken Chick, Emily Bedwell, Counting My BlessingsA Little R and RWholehearted HomeRaising HomemakersWe Are That FamilyA Wise WomanMy Daily Walk in His GraceTrue AimDucks in a RowThe Life of Jennifer DawnMy Disorganized LifeCherished BlissJoy Dare BlogTime Warp Wife, titus Tuesdays, Moms in the WordKathe with an E,

About This Woman Writes

Carolyn Henderson is the marketing manager of Steve Henderson Fine Art. She writes about life, art, and the art of life.
This entry was posted in Art, blogging, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, devotional, Encouragement, Faith, Family, home, homeschooling, Life, Lifestyle, painting, Relationships, religion, success, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Alone Does Not Mean Lonely; and Lonely Does Not Mean Loser

  1. Mon Ange says:

    You’re never called to fit into a mold. Be unique. Be you. ❤️

  2. kaseyparr99 says:

    You are most likely an introvert, my friend ,and introverts get charged up by time alone. Actually there are a lot of us out there and the extroverts have a difficult time understanding us. Blessings, Kasey

    • I used to call myself an introvert with extrovert tendencies, but the more I see the deceit and lies of psychology, and how it is creeping into our lives in every area, I dispense with the labels. I require time alone, and I crave time with noisy, chaotic people — and I know what kind of balance I need. I’m just a person, who likes to be around other people, and other times, needs some bonding time with the cat.

      The cat, quite unfortunately, feels absolutely no need to spend any time with me . . .

  3. Dale Ketcheson says:

    This is what I get every time you post. Impossible to stop receiving it.

    Who do I contact to register a complaint? I assume there is an internet regulatory body.

    Begin forwarded message:

    • Dear Dale: Every single solitary time that you have written a comment, asking to unsubscribe, I have written you an individual e-mail to the address listed, explaining that, because this is a public blog, I cannot unsubscribe you — you must do this yourself.

      I see in my records that you receive the blog in your e-mail. At the bottom of the WordPress alert to the blog, on the left, below the comment button, is the option to unsubscribe. This is the only way I know of for a person to unsubscribe.

      I researched to see if there was a way that I could do this for you, but it does not appear to be an option on my end.

      I hope this helps. If any reader knows of another way for Dale to unsubscribe, please feel free to join the discussion and we’ll see if we can get this problem solved. — Carolyn

  4. Pingback: Kicked out of the Group? Take Time to Think | This Woman Writes by Carolyn Henderson

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