Category Archives: Humor

Bruce Willis Knitting

Posted on May 12, 2011 by This Woman Writes

I confess:  I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. … Continue reading →

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Card Me — Please!

Posted on May 11, 2011 by This Woman Writes

I just bought a bottle of beer so that I can make more shampoo. Yeah, that’s right. I pour beer on my head, mixed with a liquid soap that has pronounceable and recognizable words in the ingredient list (Olive Oil, … Continue reading →

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An Alarming Faceoff in the Bedroom

Posted on May 4, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Ah, but Norwegian Artists are a determined race, and the offending item was banished to the far Netherlands of my nightstand, and that only with my avowed promise to use my body as a shield against the Aurora Borealis in numerical form. Continue reading →

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Material Possessions Don’t Possess Us

Posted on April 28, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Provincial Afternoon, by the Norwegian Artist, Steve Henderson Tired of Being Youngest and I just returned from a mini-vacation at College Girl’s apartment. For four days, the three of us slept late, wandered around in our jammies, watched movies, played … Continue reading →

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And You Think Naming a Baby Is Difficult?

Posted on April 21, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Accessorizing the seared gourd is a deep, warm cream dubbed cheerful cheesecake, which makes me wonder what a depressed cheesecake looks like.

Continue reading →

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The Little Things Don’t Tweet and Ring

Posted on April 13, 2011 by This Woman Writes

One of the phones buzzes; another one shrieks; the third one retches. When they all go off at once it sounds as if the dog is getting sick. Continue reading →

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The Multi-tasking Norwegian

Posted on April 5, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Given that the Norwegian Artist, however, is one of the sanest people I know, his digital reading habits in conjunction with the wielding of his brushes apparently don’t mess with his brain as much as living in constant contact with me.

Continue reading →

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Reading the Last Page of the Book Is Not a Crime

Posted on March 29, 2011 by This Woman Writes

For some reason, many self-professed deep thinking intellectuals define reality as unmitigated desolation, despondency, and despair, broken up here and there by the occasional smile, sunny day, or successful birthday party. Continue reading →

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The (Dressing Room) Walls Come Crashing Down

Posted on March 22, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Those chauvinist males out there who joke about how long it takes women to dress have never seen one re-attire herself in a panic in the middle of the Mart rat cubicle.

Thank God for that. Continue reading →

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The Uncommon Cold

Posted on March 16, 2011 by This Woman Writes

The Norwegian Artist, however, believes that the Enemy Cold Virus needs to be attacked head on: sweated out, molested, assaulted, crushed, mashed, mangled, forced into unrelenting hard labor, deprived of oxygen, marched to the edge of the precipice and hurtled over the side. Continue reading →

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