I know that some people spend hours to get this messy look, but seriously, it only takes seconds. Of course, it doesn’t look stylistically messy, the same way true minimal makeup doesn’t look like artistically applied minimal makeup, but either you have time for breakfast or you have deliberately premeditated, artlessly unstructured hair. Continue reading
I might also add that Ruby the Repulsive Rat Dog exhibits a literal taste for expensive footwear as well, and thanks to her sharp teeth, has reduced my $14.95 find of the century to masticated pulp. Continue reading
It’s amazing what you can learn by sitting on the porch all afternoon, watching the cats. Like this: cats sleep a lot. What is it — 18, 19 hours a day? I can understand why lions get exhausted, what with … Continue reading
To be sure I wasn’t hallucinating, I drove around the block and double checked, as did Tired of Being Youngest at my side.
Confirmed. Somebody else in the least populated county of the state owns my car.
I am on a Most Wanted list. Actually, it’s more like the Lost and Found of my high school alumnae committee, which for the last 30 years has experienced monumental difficulties in tracking me down and verifying my existence. It’s kind of … Continue reading
The first day we got her, I left the kids with the Norwegian Artist, dutifully snapped on the leash, and went for the inaugural walk to the park, where somehow, when I blinked for a fraction too long, our newest family member clamped her mouth shut around a dead duck. Continue reading
For some reason, I lack the genetic DNA to sit in a circle and listen to one or two members of a group drone on and on about how they feel about what we have all just endured. Continue reading
I confess: I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. … Continue reading
I just bought a bottle of beer so that I can make more shampoo. Yeah, that’s right. I pour beer on my head, mixed with a liquid soap that has pronounceable and recognizable words in the ingredient list (Olive Oil, … Continue reading
Ah, but Norwegian Artists are a determined race, and the offending item was banished to the far Netherlands of my nightstand, and that only with my avowed promise to use my body as a shield against the Aurora Borealis in numerical form. Continue reading
