Tag Archives: health

Oppression and Impoverishment, American Style

Say, have you heard from the Midianites lately? Also known as Ishmaelites, they were an ancient Biblical people who regularly oppressed the Hebrews. One of the more memorable stories about them involved Gideon, the guy who kept flipping the sheep … Continue reading

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Kombucha Adventures

I’ve been making Kombucha. I know, it sounds like a song that you sing around the campfire, but it’s a fermented black tea that sits around on the counter top, quietly revolutionizing itself into something totally unlike anything we consume … Continue reading

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She Was a Good Doggy

The first day we got her, I left the kids with the Norwegian Artist, dutifully snapped on the leash, and went for the inaugural walk to the park, where somehow, when I blinked for a fraction too long, our newest family member clamped her mouth shut around a dead duck. Continue reading

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An Exercise in Patience

My latest flailing exercise features the buff Australian — the cover shows a perky brunette sweetheart in a skimpy halter top and bouncey doo, but the DVD itself features a male Adonis of gigantic proportions, barely contained in a ripped and rippled muscle shirt.

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Bruce Willis Knitting

I confess:  I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. … Continue reading

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Card Me — Please!

I just bought a bottle of beer so that I can make more shampoo. Yeah, that’s right. I pour beer on my head, mixed with a liquid soap that has pronounceable and recognizable words in the ingredient list (Olive Oil, … Continue reading

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An Alarming Faceoff in the Bedroom

Ah, but Norwegian Artists are a determined race, and the offending item was banished to the far Netherlands of my nightstand, and that only with my avowed promise to use my body as a shield against the Aurora Borealis in numerical form. Continue reading

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The Uncommon Cold

The Norwegian Artist, however, believes that the Enemy Cold Virus needs to be attacked head on: sweated out, molested, assaulted, crushed, mashed, mangled, forced into unrelenting hard labor, deprived of oxygen, marched to the edge of the precipice and hurtled over the side. Continue reading

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Seriously — Is My Health Insurance Company Really My Family?

One of the most memorable offerings that I received this Valentine’s Day was a gigantic red and white card, teeming with colossal, poofy, happy hearts and a warm, loving message signed, “Your Extended Family.” My health care plan. Also known … Continue reading

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