Category Archives: Random

An Exercise in Patience

My latest flailing exercise features the buff Australian — the cover shows a perky brunette sweetheart in a skimpy halter top and bouncey doo, but the DVD itself features a male Adonis of gigantic proportions, barely contained in a ripped and rippled muscle shirt.

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Bruce Willis Knitting

I confess:  I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. … Continue reading

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An Alarming Faceoff in the Bedroom

Ah, but Norwegian Artists are a determined race, and the offending item was banished to the far Netherlands of my nightstand, and that only with my avowed promise to use my body as a shield against the Aurora Borealis in numerical form. Continue reading

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Material Possessions Don’t Possess Us

Provincial Afternoon, by the Norwegian Artist, Steve Henderson Tired of Being Youngest and I just returned from a mini-vacation at College Girl’s apartment. For four days, the three of us slept late, wandered around in our jammies, watched movies, played … Continue reading

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And You Think Naming a Baby Is Difficult?

Accessorizing the seared gourd is a deep, warm cream dubbed cheerful cheesecake, which makes me wonder what a depressed cheesecake looks like.

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The Little Things Don’t Tweet and Ring

One of the phones buzzes; another one shrieks; the third one retches. When they all go off at once it sounds as if the dog is getting sick. Continue reading

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The Multi-tasking Norwegian

Given that the Norwegian Artist, however, is one of the sanest people I know, his digital reading habits in conjunction with the wielding of his brushes apparently don’t mess with his brain as much as living in constant contact with me.

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Reading the Last Page of the Book Is Not a Crime

For some reason, many self-professed deep thinking intellectuals define reality as unmitigated desolation, despondency, and despair, broken up here and there by the occasional smile, sunny day, or successful birthday party. Continue reading

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The (Dressing Room) Walls Come Crashing Down

Those chauvinist males out there who joke about how long it takes women to dress have never seen one re-attire herself in a panic in the middle of the Mart rat cubicle.

Thank God for that. Continue reading

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The Uncommon Cold

The Norwegian Artist, however, believes that the Enemy Cold Virus needs to be attacked head on: sweated out, molested, assaulted, crushed, mashed, mangled, forced into unrelenting hard labor, deprived of oxygen, marched to the edge of the precipice and hurtled over the side. Continue reading

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