Tag Archives: middle age

Don’t Say “Can’t”

I dropped in on Eldest Supreme at work just so I could casually mention, “Oh, by the way, I have a washing machine in the back of the car.” Continue reading

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Heigh ho Silver — Away! Onward, Burnt Orange!

To be sure I wasn’t hallucinating, I drove around the block and double checked, as did Tired of Being Youngest at my side.

Confirmed. Somebody else in the least populated county of the state owns my car.

Continue reading

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She Was a Good Doggy

The first day we got her, I left the kids with the Norwegian Artist, dutifully snapped on the leash, and went for the inaugural walk to the park, where somehow, when I blinked for a fraction too long, our newest family member clamped her mouth shut around a dead duck. Continue reading

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Mouth of the Grand Canyon — Mine

For some reason, I lack the genetic DNA to sit in a circle and listen to one or two members of a group drone on and on about how they feel about what we have all just endured. Continue reading

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Bruce Willis Knitting

I confess:  I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. … Continue reading

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An Alarming Faceoff in the Bedroom

Ah, but Norwegian Artists are a determined race, and the offending item was banished to the far Netherlands of my nightstand, and that only with my avowed promise to use my body as a shield against the Aurora Borealis in numerical form. Continue reading

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The Multi-tasking Norwegian

Given that the Norwegian Artist, however, is one of the sanest people I know, his digital reading habits in conjunction with the wielding of his brushes apparently don’t mess with his brain as much as living in constant contact with me.

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Reading the Last Page of the Book Is Not a Crime

For some reason, many self-professed deep thinking intellectuals define reality as unmitigated desolation, despondency, and despair, broken up here and there by the occasional smile, sunny day, or successful birthday party. Continue reading

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The Uncommon Cold

The Norwegian Artist, however, believes that the Enemy Cold Virus needs to be attacked head on: sweated out, molested, assaulted, crushed, mashed, mangled, forced into unrelenting hard labor, deprived of oxygen, marched to the edge of the precipice and hurtled over the side. Continue reading

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Sewing, Knitting, Quilting — Real Women and Real Men Do These Things

At the Norwegian Artist’s receptions and opening nights, I appear in something that exists all its own on the planet — no twin at Wal-Mart or Nordstrom’s — what I’m wearing is as unique, unusual, and imperfect as I am. Continue reading

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