Category Archives: Personal

She Was a Good Doggy

Posted on June 9, 2011 by This Woman Writes

The first day we got her, I left the kids with the Norwegian Artist, dutifully snapped on the leash, and went for the inaugural walk to the park, where somehow, when I blinked for a fraction too long, our newest family member clamped her mouth shut around a dead duck. Continue reading →

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Mouth of the Grand Canyon — Mine

Posted on June 6, 2011 by This Woman Writes

For some reason, I lack the genetic DNA to sit in a circle and listen to one or two members of a group drone on and on about how they feel about what we have all just endured. Continue reading →

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An Exercise in Patience

Posted on May 24, 2011 by This Woman Writes

My latest flailing exercise features the buff Australian — the cover shows a perky brunette sweetheart in a skimpy halter top and bouncey doo, but the DVD itself features a male Adonis of gigantic proportions, barely contained in a ripped and rippled muscle shirt.

Continue reading →

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Bruce Willis Knitting

Posted on May 12, 2011 by This Woman Writes

I confess:  I engage in reckless behavior. Sometimes I salt my food before I taste it. I set the cruise control for two miles over the speed limit. If the headache’s bad enough, I’ll take two aspirin instead of one. … Continue reading →

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An Alarming Faceoff in the Bedroom

Posted on May 4, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Ah, but Norwegian Artists are a determined race, and the offending item was banished to the far Netherlands of my nightstand, and that only with my avowed promise to use my body as a shield against the Aurora Borealis in numerical form. Continue reading →

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Material Possessions Don’t Possess Us

Posted on April 28, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Provincial Afternoon, by the Norwegian Artist, Steve Henderson Tired of Being Youngest and I just returned from a mini-vacation at College Girl’s apartment. For four days, the three of us slept late, wandered around in our jammies, watched movies, played … Continue reading →

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And You Think Naming a Baby Is Difficult?

Posted on April 21, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Accessorizing the seared gourd is a deep, warm cream dubbed cheerful cheesecake, which makes me wonder what a depressed cheesecake looks like.

Continue reading →

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The Little Things Don’t Tweet and Ring

Posted on April 13, 2011 by This Woman Writes

One of the phones buzzes; another one shrieks; the third one retches. When they all go off at once it sounds as if the dog is getting sick. Continue reading →

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The Multi-tasking Norwegian

Posted on April 5, 2011 by This Woman Writes

Given that the Norwegian Artist, however, is one of the sanest people I know, his digital reading habits in conjunction with the wielding of his brushes apparently don’t mess with his brain as much as living in constant contact with me.

Continue reading →

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Reading the Last Page of the Book Is Not a Crime

Posted on March 29, 2011 by This Woman Writes

For some reason, many self-professed deep thinking intellectuals define reality as unmitigated desolation, despondency, and despair, broken up here and there by the occasional smile, sunny day, or successful birthday party. Continue reading →

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