The Simple Life: Eating Together

Simple living involves more time than money. Summer Breeze, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

One of the things you learn, when you set out to live the simple life, is this:

It’s really simpler than you think.

You don’t need to join an Encouragement Group, or fill out a series of charts, or buy a box of Flash Cards for the Simple Life, to declutter your world. Many of the changes that you make are small, easy to comprehend, able to build upon one another, and low maintenance.

If you’re patient with yourself and allow time to do its work, you’ll find that the life you’re living one year from now is far simpler than the one you started with.

Let’s take eating, specifically, family meals. Regardless of the size of your family — and this could mean that there’s just one of you, since the cat died three weeks ago — eating is a regular activity that you can turn into something special.

Because we homeschooled, and because the Norwegian Artist, during his office years, worked out of our home, we were privileged to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, which I know is really, really unusual. But what is also becoming, unfortunately, more and more unusual, is people sitting down to eat — any meal, anytime during the week — together.

Evening Obligations

If there are school-aged children, there is inevitably an athletic game, or parent-teacher event, or evening program, that involves slapping something from the freezer into the microwave and eating over the sink.

It probably means more to our children that we spend time with them, than that we attend every one of their soccer games. Child of Eden, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Adults have community service meetings, extra work, basketball with the boys, or church related assemblages.

And regardless the age of the people in the home, there’s an increasing tendency for people to wander into the kitchen at disparate times, poke through the cupboards and fridge, and take whatever it is they’re eating into a separate room, where there’s generally a television or computer screen.

One thing eating meals together does is show us just how full our schedule is: if there is no point throughout the week when all of the members of the household can sit around a dining room table for twenty minutes and break bread together, then we may be just a bit too busy. And being a bit too busy is the opposite of living simply.

Being Busy: Part of Our Culture

Being busy — a major component of life in the United States — is not going to go away in a day, but just because this is a lamentable part of our cultural identity does not mean that we can’t make changes to simplify, and slow down, our lives.

Enter eating together — it’s low key, it’s relaxing, it doesn’t require extra gas for the car, it’s free, and it involves being around the people who mean the most to you: the members of your household. You catch up on what everyone is up to, you listen to problems and praises, you offer advice as needed and copious amounts of understanding and love. The more you do it, the more you want to do it, and at some point it becomes part of who you are:

Take time for tea together. Or lunch. Dinner. Breakfast. Anything. Afternoon Tea, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

“We eat together because we enjoy one another’s company.”

This week, see if you can find one meal on one day that everyone in the family sits down to share together (and if there’s just one of you, that’s fine: sit down with yourself — no TV — and enjoy the pleasure of your company). Notice the food, whatever it is, and take pleasure in how it tastes. If applicable, thank the person who prepared it, because food is a gift, and people who prepare it are gift givers.

Our favorite time together is Sunday morning, when we have no obligations or particular plans, and we spend two hours at the breakfast table: drinking tea, discussing world affairs, observing the weather outside, and just enjoying the sheer feeling of leisure. What on earth could be more satisfying to do than this?

Thank You

Thank you for joining me at This Woman Writes. Fridays I write about financial health and simple living, which tend to go hand in hand. If you’ve read me for awhile, you know that I wrote a book on this, Live Happily on Less, which is a series of essays, like the one above, that address the simple, sustainable changes you can make to simplify your life and live better on the resources you have been given. (Paperback and digital at Amazon.com)

Enjoy the people in your life — as frustrating as they can be sometimes, they are far more valuable than any material possession you could possibly purchase.

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Homeschool Super Moms

What goes around, comes around. The Creature Who Needed No Sleep found herself with one of her own. Madonna and Toddler, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

One week after the birth of our first child found us camping with the Creature Who Needs No Sleep. Driven from our hot, stuffy apartment (no air conditioning) we relished the cool, mountain air, not to mention the lack of neighbors irritated by the wailings of a newborn.

I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t admit that people’s comments,

“You went camping ONE WEEK after the birth of a baby? You’re an AMAZING woman,” made me feel like pretty hot stuff indeed.

We waited two weeks after the birth of the second child to do the camping thing. People continued to comment on how amazing I was. I continued to lap it up.

Third Time, Still Not Learning

With the third child, we camped 6 weeks before the baby was born, in a lightning storm, with a two-year-old who literally bounced off the walls of the tent, and a run-in with a black mama sow bear and her three cubs. The term amazing began to be replaced with other terms, and I can’t say I disagree.

By the fourth child — this story, along with our childbearing years, does come to an end — I stayed home, with the baby, in a hammock. I didn’t need people to tell me I was amazing anymore; I knew that just getting out of bed every morning was testament to some sort of ability and acumen.

How to Be Told, You Are Amazing!

You thought your kids were amazing because they build a model ship. And then someone told you that THEIR kids built a life-size version. Golden Sea, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

This was a good attitude to have by the time we started homeschooling, because if you haven’t figured it out yet, there is a lot of — frequently self-imposed — pressure on homeschooling parents to perform. And the way homeschooling parents receive the accolade,

“You are AMAZING!”

is to produce children who read at four, do sixth-grade math in third grade, and use words like “apologetics” and “synergistic.” Oh, and they have beautiful handwriting, impeccable manners, and perfectly modulated voices as they practice their Latin declensions (older children learn Greek or Hebrew, and for fun, the entire family gets together and performs impromptu Greek tragedies).

Isn’t this an amazing family? And you, by virtue of being the teacher at the top, are truly amazing, because you produce quality educational products that thoroughly impress — and quite possibly overwhelm — the people around you.

When your children aren’t setting up intricate structures of pulleys and ramps to test out basic physic problems they’ve been curious about, they do their chores, and your house is clean, pristine, and dust free.

Despite the copious amount of advanced reading done by all the household members (your nine-year-old just eats up The Federalist Papers), books and papers are neatly stored away in your designated schoolroom, which the husband of the family (whose primary purpose is to conduct morning Bible studies; the children so, so enjoy this special worship time together, and they take turns playing the piano for the songs — many of them composed within the family — that you sing) remodeled into a series of cabinets and drawers and desks that look like what Laura Ingalls Wilder used.

Not You, Huh?

If this doesn’t describe you, be relieved, very very relieved, because this level of amazing-ness is improbable for anyone to achieve and maintain, although you’d never know it by the hints and comments people drop about their super, and superlative, progeny.

Through years of homeschooling, I have heard variations on the theme:

There’s no one quite like you, or your family members, in this world. You are unique. The Christmas List, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

“Evangeline was a little slower learning her multiplication tables — she was, oh, 6 or so, when her brother had them down by five.”

“We’re doing basic biology in third grade this year: after dissecting the cow on the dining room table, we used the meat to create meals for the homeless shelter. Joseph, eight, preached the sermon.”

“Stella was so disappointed when she came in third in the Kindergarten National Science Fair competition. Her research on electromagneticism and the life cycle of worms was quite well done.”

And you’re saying to yourself, “My kid just lisped her way through Green Eggs and Ham. We were pretty excited, too, about her brother figuring out the first part of tying his shoes. The loop will come later.”

Listen: You’re amazing. Your kids are amazing — whether or not they write Haiku in ancient Aramaic. As a homeschooling family you are amazing because you live together — All. The. Time. — talk, laugh, experiment, create, encourage, grow, and learn.

How you do it is as individual as you are, and as long as you don’t compare yourself with the illusion that other people are putting forth, you’ll be just fine.

Thank You

Thank you for joining me at This Woman Writes. A 20-year veteran of homeschooling, I write about the subject on Thursdays.

If life seems overwhelming and you’re tired of graham crackers and peanut butter for dinner again, please check out my Recipes section, which I post on Tuesdays.

If you’re a Christian and feeling pressured by unrealistic expectations of perfection, check out Contempo Christianity on Wednesdays at This Woman Writes and Commonsense Christianity, my blog at BeliefNet.

For writing help — both for yourself and in teaching your kids, look at my book, Grammar Despair at Amazon.com.

If you’re living on a single or extra small budget, check out Live Happily on Less, which distills 30-years of creative budgeting into a fun, quick-reading book.

Prospective artists in the family? Steve Henderson’s (my Norwegian Artist) Step by Step Watercolor Success is a two-day workshop in digital format.

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Stop Attacking Yourself

A four-year-old’s interpretation of the Norwegian Artist’s painting, The World Traveler.

Today’s article comes with a visual, two actually, as an encouragement to you to stop being so hard on yourself. We need to be reminded of this on a frequent basis, not only because so many people are prepared to tell us how recurrently we fall short of their standards, but also because we have a tendency to self-sabotage.

The first visual you’ll find to your top left, and it is a painting by a four-year-old, namely our precociously amazing granddaughter, Small Person, but since we’re limited in the number of words to this article, I’ll limit, with difficulty, discussion about her amazing-ness.

S-P was painting in the studio with her grandfather, the Norwegian Artist, who is also amazing (I’ve been telling you that for years), and they were both working on the same painting, The World Traveler. Like many artists-in-training, S-P was copying from the master, and you can see the work she was copying in the second visual, halfway down this page on the right.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” There. I’ve said it for you, but don’t feel bad, because if the Norwegian Artist hadn’t told me what S-P was painting, I wouldn’t have known. But then again, think about it: if a four-year-old could replicate a painting like The World Traveler so that you couldn’t tell the difference between the two, that wouldn’t be astronomically amazing so much as it would be be freaking scary.

“I Can’t Do This”

Go back up to the first visual and look at the red outlined square on the bottom: that’s the world globe. When the Norwegian asked S-P why she didn’t make it round, she replied,

“Because I can’t make round things.”

But, he observed, at the top of the painting is a blue blob, decidedly round. It is apparently a window, which should be square, like the red

This is the painting from which Small Person derived her inspiration. The World Traveler, art print at Steve Henderson Collections.

blob below.

“I can’t make square things,” she replied.

“But you did. The globe, which in my painting is round, is square.”

“I can’t make round things.”

I’m sure that I don’t need to report much more of this conversation. Suffice it to say that we can pick up two nuggets of wisdom from it:

1) S-P can, indeed, draw both round and square things

And

2) S-P cannot draw round and square things on purpose. Yet.

All of us are fully confident that, at some point in the not-too-far future, S-P will be able to draw round objects that look round, and square objects that look square. Because Small Person is just that, a small person who is learning and absorbing and experimenting with life itself, we adults are understanding that she will not “measure up” to grown-up standards. Anyone expecting that a four-year-old will paint with the expertise of a somewhat older, significantly wiser, and far more experienced Norwegian Artist is nuts, just nuts.

“I Also Can’t Walk on Water”

And yet, that’s what we do in our Christian life, all the time, castigating ourselves because we don’t walk on water, heal lepers, and create fabulous dinners for unexpected crowds of 5,000 out of a few slices of leftover bread and some freezer burned fish sticks.

Or perhaps our expectations aren’t so lofty. We just chastise ourselves because we feel discouraged (where is our hope and faith?), snap at a family member (patience, gentleness), or walk out into the wheat field and swear at God when we should be singing praises and hymns.

We are fully human, when our expectations are that we should be fully divine.

In Jesus’ eyes, we are little children, and He is patient with us. Bold Innocence, art print at Steve Henderson Collections.

Little children — the apostle John uses that phrase all the time, and you can feel the love in it — we are not Jesus, although it is our goal to be like Him, in the same way that it is Small Person’s goal to paint like her Grand PuhPAH. Given time, patience, practice, and listening to a master of the craft, S-P will grow in knowledge and ability, but the finished product will not happen now, no matter how insistent we are. Indeed, if we are too insistent, we will cause discouragement, despair, and a desire to give up.

The best way of going about it is to work within the parameters of the person, encouraging her in the abilities she has, gently instructing at a level she can comprehend, and always letting her know that she is loved, no matter how square her world globes are.

This is how Jesus works with us, and at no point does he flail His hands in exasperation and storm from the room. He is infinitely patient with our finite limitations.

Can we be the same?

Does Modern Christianity Frustrate You?

Thank you for joining me at This Woman Write’s Contempo Christianity, which I publish on Wednesdays. For my other Christian writings, please visit my Commonsense Christianity blog at BeliefNet, where I post three times a week about living successfully, as an ordinary person, the Christian life.

Recent posts are

Just How Naked Do I Have to Get? (If you’ve been pressured to share more about yourself than you are comfortable with, read this.)

When You’re Not as Happy as You Wish You Were (Nobody wants to be sad, but sometimes, we pressure ourselves to reach for a goal that really doesn’t work.)

Money, Power, Fame and Name (If you’re like most of the 7 billion people on the planet, you’re probably sort of ordinary. Jesus really likes sort of ordinary people.)

Break away from Controlling People (Either you make the decisions that affect your life, or you let other people do it for you. This is especially bad when you let other people’s thoughts dictate your own.)

The Dissident Christian: Does This Describe You? (Go ahead — be different. Think differently. Walk that narrow path all Christians talk about but so few find themselves actually on.)

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Recipe: Easy Roasted Vegetables

It’s quick, easy, inexpensive, nutritious and delicious. Photo courtesy Steve Henderson Fine Art.

As a writer who also runs the Norwegian Artist’s fine art gallery, I don’t have a lot of time to cook. Despite spending most of the day 15 feet from the kitchen, I generally arrive there around 5, in a state of controlled panic, wondering what I can make that is fast, easy, inexpensive, nutritious, and tasty. There’s nothing like wanting it all.

Easy roasted vegetables fit all five categories, however, and they’re especially great in the winter when 1) root vegetables are plentiful and in season and 2) you appreciate the extra heat from the oven. As a bonus, this dish is vegan, and it makes a meal all on its own, especially with salsa on the side.

Because I use what I’ve got, this particular recipe is limited to potatoes, carrots, garlic, and onions, but if you have a yam or sweet potato hanging around, or some parsnips, or a turnip (you know, I’ve never eaten one of those things? I don’t even know what they look like, but this may change because the Son and Heir keeps mentioning how one of the items on his bucket list is to grow and eat turnips), then feel free to replace some of the potatoes with these, peeled if necessary and cut into small squares. I incorporated blue potatoes, which we grew in the garden this year. They’re firm, colorful, and a fun addition to the table.

If you’ve got beets hanging around, you can use those too in place of some of the potatoes, but I’ll confess right here that I hate the things. I never have forgiven them for draining all over the plate when I was a child and turning my mashed potatoes pink.

Easy Roasted Vegetables — serves 4 as a side dish; 2-3 as a main dish.

I don’t know about you, but I never get tired of Santa, and December isn’t long enough. The Norwegian Artist will be creating more Santa works throughout the year, like this one, The World Traveler, original oil painting, 24 x 24.

Ingredients:

1/3 cup olive oil

1 large onion, peeled, halves, and cut into thin slices

1 head garlic, peeled and chopped fine

1-2 hot peppers, dried, chopped fine (optional)

2 medium/large Yukon Gold potatoes, (about the size of a woman’s fist, cut into 1/2 to 3/4 inch cubes — you don’t want itsy bitsy pieces, but you don’t want hunkin’ chunks either. The larger the pieces, the longer they take to cook, and the 1/2 to 3/4 inch size cooks up quickly and maintains its shape. Since potatoes and carrots and other root vegetables are obviously not square, you don’t have to worry about every piece looking like a perfect cube. Rounded edges are fine, and at this point, there is no Homeland Potato Security Department).

4 – 6 small (larger than a golf ball, more like the size of a pool ball) blue potatoes, cut into 1/2 to 3/4 inch cubes. I washed, but did not peel, the potatoes.

4 carrots, peeled and cut into small cubes

3 Tablespoons fresh rosemary, finely minced, or 2 teaspoons dried

Salt to taste

Heat the oil in a frying pan over medium heat until hot, but not smoking. Add the onions and saute for five minutes. Add the garlic and peppers and saute for five minutes more, until the onions are limp. If they brown in this time, that’s just fine; just make sure nothing burns.

While the onions are cooking, chop the potatoes, carrots, and whatever other root vegetables you chose to clean out of your refrigerator or produce baskets.

Grease a 9 x 13 pan and toss in the chopped vegetables. Pour over the onion mixture, with the oil, and mix all together so everything is coated with oil. Toss on the rosemary and salt. Cover the pan and bake the mixture at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, stirring the contents at the halfway point.

After 45 minutes, taste to make sure that everything is fully cooked, and if the carrots, especially, are still a little crunchy, cook longer until they’re soft (this is where the extra effort to cut smaller piece pays off).

If you want to make this your main dish, serve with salsa on the side (check out my easy recipe), and consider sprinkling cheese atop.

I hope that you all had a great holiday — I absorbed myself in family, friends, and good food. If one of your New Year’s resolutions is to get a handle on your money, I encourage you to look at my book, Live Happily on Less, which gently walks you through the small, simple, sustainable changes you can make to get more out of the resources you have. Paperback and digital at Amazon.com.

“I loved this book. Great ideas for saving money. Made me feel good about my simple lifestyle. Gave me new ways to think about life. Highly recommend.” Amazon five-star reader review.

Posted in Art, blogging, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, dinner idea, diy, Encouragement, Family, Food, frugal living, gardening, Green, Growth, health, home, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, News, Random, recipe, saving money, self-improvement, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Christmas List

Santa paintings are — or should be! — happy, just like the season. The Christmas List, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

From Start Your Week with Steve, the weekly e-mail newsletter of Steve Henderson Fine Art.

This is the story behind the painting, The Christmas List:

Warm reds glow in the inside, set against the cool blues of a North Pole night. The push me/pull me of contrast in a painting causes visual and intellectual interest, and viewers see the contrasts in light versus dark, illumination versus shadow, warm colors versus cool, reds versus blues.

Santa paintings, like The Christmas List, are challenging and fun simply because there are so many elements, so many things, in them. There’s a decorated tree, a patterned rug, knick knacks scattered throughout the interior; even outside in what should be a cold wasteland there are trees, stars, and a curious reindeer.

Figuring out what to put in a painting like The Christmas List involves a lot of brainstorming, getting into Santa’s head and household, always keeping in mind that Santa represents goodness, happiness, joy, and acceptance — and even when he’s looking over that infamous list of his, there’s the idea that nobody, really, will be struck off of it, or presented with just a lump of coal.

Santa’s very act of eating a cookie — major elements of his diet on Christmas Eve and Night — is a conscious statement for enjoying the good things of life, especially in a time when cookies, like all sweets and treats, are feeling the pinch of disapproval. While obviously a diet of sugar and spice isn’t the best option, Santa’s world is a different one, and during a short period every year, he invites us to relax, to let go for a bit, and to fall into the holiday.

Look for more Santa and holiday-themed works by Steve in 2014, and while it may seem unusual that Steve focuses on Christmas in March, licensees and manufacturers of goods with images on them work months, or even years, in advance.

Steve finds Santa work to be a refreshing break throughout the year, and in July, when the bees are lethargically buzzing around the raspberry plants and the dog longs for a walk so that she can jump in the river and cool off, North Pole scenes and snow dusting the windows are most welcome!

Every Steve Henderson original oil painting is a creation of beauty, love, skill, and expertise. Join us in 2014 as Steve continues to create on canvas, and Carolyn continues to write. Child of Eden, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Read the rest at Start Your Week with Steve.

Find Steve’s original oil and watercolor paintings at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Find Steve’s licensed open edition prints at Great Big CanvasLight in the BoxSears.comAmazon.comSagebrush.comRakuten.comAllPosters.comWall Art BoxLuban DecorArt.com

Businesses and manufacturers: contact Steve’s agents at Art Licensing.

Find Carolyn’s books, Live Happily on Less and Grammar Despair, and Steve’s DVD, Step by Step Watercolor Success, at Amazon.com.

Merry Christmas to all. I will be taking a break from This Woman Writes to enjoy the Christmas season, and will be back on schedule in January 2014. In the meantime, you can follow my writings on Christianity at BeliefNet’s Commonsense Christianity, where I post three times a week.

Recent posts:

Your Right to Privacy: Protect It

“I’m a Christian, but I’m Not Religious” 

Two Reasons Why the World Hates Christians

Posted in Art, Beauty, blogging, Business, children, Christmas, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Family, holiday, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, santa, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Simple Life: Eating out by Eating in

Me, with the Norwegian, in the studio barn. We lived in the barn for two years while we built the house. We’ve always been that way, which is why I wrote the book on it, Live Happily on Less.

This last week, the Norwegian Artist and I celebrated 31 years of marriage with a special dinner for four. What should have cost $170 ran a little under $25.

Do I have access to a coupon code that you don’t? Nope.

But what I do have is the ability and willingess to cook, and because our chefs for the evening were Tired of Being Youngest and the Son and Heir (who were also our guests at the table), we ate like rich people even though we’re . . . not.

Here’s the menu, all you can eat, with the estimated cost at a restaurant listed in parenthesis:

  • Handmade Ancient Wheat Fettuccini pasta with cream sauce and wild-caught Alaska shrimp ($18 per plate)
  • 1 bottle red wine ($35)
  • Five-ingredient vanilla ice-cream with Chocolate Decadence Sauce ($6 per serving)

Taxes and gratuity, which we didn’t pay, finish out the final retail cost. None of us felt like preparing a vegetable, since it would fill in space that the shrimp (caught by the Son and Heir over the summer) and ice cream claimed, so we forewent. Most of the $25 we spent went toward the wine, which set me back $15 (that’s REALLY expensive in this household, but you’re only married 31 years once, generally), and we still have half the bottle.

“But that’s not fair,” you say. “You did the work yourself.”

Every day is a golden opportunity to experience adventure, whether or not you’re actually on a boat. Golden Opportunity, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Well, yes, I made the noodles, but the main work I did was years ago, when I taught the kids to cook, simply because I believe that the more you control what and how you eat, the healthier — and more financially secure — you are.

Eating out, or eating in — while the two don’t compare as apples to apples because the ambiance is different (I prefer being at home, actually; it’s more comfy), the food quality was the same, and what we exchanged in ambiance and labor we received in savings. There’s always an exchange, and when you’re out to live the simple life and save money by doing so, you do what you do because you feel that the exchange is worth it.

It was worth it to me to ply the pasta machine while the Son and Heir peeled the shrimp and Tired of Being Youngest whisked the sauce: we talked, we laughed, we bumped into each other and dropped things, we enjoyed time together which is one of the finest gifts that life has to offer. The Norwegian Artist set the table and lit the candles, and when we sat down, it was cold outside and warm inside, and we retold the story of how we married in the midst of an ice storm, wretchedly poor college students who couldn’t possibly look ahead and see four children in their future.

The two older children, out of town, called, and when the two younger children saw how much this pleased us, they ran upstairs with cell phones and called us as well.

It’s increasingly difficult to live in our global economy, and no government agency is set up to help you do it. It’s time for you, and your family, to take control of your life and live it the way that works for you. This book gives you ideas on what has worked for us — ordinary people with regular incomes and no billionaire relatives.

Such is the simple, and the good, life — in the same way that the finest food is made from few, but excellent, ingredients, the fine life consists of recognizing what we have, and being grateful for it. There’s no use to acquiring more stuff when you don’t appreciate the stuff you already have.

This weekend, even if you’re not celebrating 31 years of marriage, eat out by eating in, and enjoy the process of creating your meal together — even if it’s peanut butter sandwiches and milk — as part of the dining experience. It’s worth every penny.

Join me Fridays for articles on Financial Health and/or Simple Living, because the two generally go hand in hand. I encourage you to look at my book, Live Happily on Less (digital $5.99paperback $12.99 or less), which is a series of short, fun essays on how to make the most of what you have, and be happy about it.

“Poor” is as much a state of mind as it has to do with your pocketbook, and while we’d all like to have more money, we can’t necessarily control this. But we can do a lot to control how we use what we have, and that’s what Live Happily on Less teaches you to do.

Posted in Art, blogging, Christian, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, dinner idea, Economy, Encouragement, Faith, Family, finances, Food, frugal living, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, marriage, money, News, Personal, Relationships, saving money, self-improvement, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Homeschoolers: Are You Failing Your Children?

If you have a wild child, you don’t have a problem; you have a challenge, one that will cause you — as will as your child — to grow. Wild Child, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Whether you homeschool or not, when you have multiple children, it is all too easy to fall into comparing the “strengths” and “weaknesses” of one child against another. Sadly, over the years, we have seen one child within a family come out the loser in this comparison game.

Human beings are different.

Well, that’s an obvious statement, but it’s one we quickly forget in a society that extols commercial white bread and processed yellow cheese slices: we like homogeneity, or adherence to a standard of sameness, which is why, at county and state fairs, tomatoes are judged not based upon their taste, but in how similar three of them look to one another on a paper plate.

The Perfect Student

Within a homeschool environment — or actually, within any school environment — the child of choice is generally the quiet, complacent one who fills out workbook pages and doesn’t kick her (the paradigm of perfection is more often a girl than a boy) feet against the chair.

The difficult child, who in families with multiple children is generally not the first, but frequently the second, gets bored with writing between the lines, answering inane questions on topics like, “Talk about your favorite book and why it means so much to you,” and reading mind-numbingly boring textbook paragraphs that the adults in the room, if they are honest, acknowledge as being insipid and unengaging.

Even the most angelic of cherubs can surprise us now and then; children are dynamic, engaging creatures. Child of Eden, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

If the family doing the homeschooling is religious, the difficult child receives not only the appellation of problematic but the label of “rebellious,” because, for some reason, it’s incredibly important to too many religious people that their children be obedient, in a “Yes, Sir,” “No, Ma’am” sort of way.

More Thought, Less Obedience

This is sad, because our society is producing far too many complacent people, trained to work in cubicles and know just enough to do their job, but not so much that they question why things are done the way they are. Homeschoolers have the unprecedented — and decidedly not guaranteed — right to teach their children in an atmosphere that encourages questioning, analysis, research, study, and dissent, but they will waste this opportunity if they insist that the only good student in the room is the one who sits quietly, works through the flashcards, and methodically gets done with the day’s assignments.

There is much to be said for discipline, organization, and the ability to complete a task, but there is just as much, or more, to be said for someone who asks questions, rocks the boat a bit, and wants to know why things have to be done just this way. The difficult children, the rebellious ones because they don’t shut up and do what they’re told, are just as valuable as the organized ones.

Success, in today’s society, requires as much attitude as it does algebra. Cadence, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

In a perfect world, one learns from the other, because we need discipline with energy, analysis with creativity, the willingness to complete a task along with the boldness to ask why the task needs to be done in the first place.

Each one of your children is uniquely different, and a wise parent sees them not as “good” or “bad,” “disciplined” or “rebellious,” “successful” or (a word that no child ever, ever deserves) a “failure.”

If there is any failure, it is on our part, in our inability to be imaginative and open enough to recognize that differences exist, and we can be part of drawing out the goodness of those differences, encouraging our children to grow into the full potential of what they are capable of being.

Thank you for joining me at This Woman Writes. A 20-year veteran homeschooler, I write about homeschooling on Thursdays. My book, Grammar Despair, is designed for people who teach writing, or want to write better themselves, but don’t want to mess with grammar.

Live Happily on Less is a series of essays about how to live well on a modest income which, if you are a homeschooler, you probably know quite a bit about. I’m betting that, if you take a chance on me, you’ll learn something well worth the purchase price. (Digital $5.99paperback $12.99 or less)

Step by Step Watercolor Success is a digital DVD workshop by my Norwegian Artist, Steve Henderson, and is designed for beginning and intermediate watercolor students. You can see the promo video here.

If you’re a Christian, or interested in the subject, I write Commonsense Christianity at BeliefNet, focusing on . . . commonsense. As Christians, we’ve pretty much got the “innocent as doves” part down; we really need to work on the “wise as serpents” part. You can see an overview of my Christianity articles on my Contempo Christianity page.

Posted in Art, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Education, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Growth, home, homeschooling, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, Parenting, Personal, Relationships, religion, school, self-improvement, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Transparency and Trust in . . . Christianity

As Christians, we spend a lot of time waiting, and it’s good to know that the Person we are waiting for is Someone we can trust. Lady in Waiting, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Christianity isn’t hocus pocus, you know, but you’d not be faulted for thinking so, given some of the “teachings” out there.

One of my favorites, or rather, one that I dislike the most, has to do with negative statements, and the voodoo reaction they will have upon you, your life, your relationship with God, and the way your dog thinks about you if you say something like,

“I don’t think this is going to work.”

Negative Thinking

“Oh, don’t say that!” someone inevitably pipes up. “You can do all things through Christ, you know, and if you express doubt, you are expressing doubt in God Himself.”

How wonderful. Yet another burden of guilt to bear.

The other day I was chatting with someone about prayer when I observed,

“I came to realize, when I was talking with God, that my essential problem is that I don’t really trust that He is as good as He says He is.

“So I told Him this, and asked Him to help me get over my fears and inadequacies, and to come to a point of truly trusting in His goodness.”

Let’s Be Honest, with God and Each Other

While shock and awe might be an overstatement of my listener’s reaction, there was a significant silence.

“I am amazed that you can be so . . . honest . . . with God,” she replied.

Some people lament that Santa takes away from Christ as Christmas. But think of it — how many people doubt the goodness of Santa the way they doubt the goodness of Christ? Maybe we can learn something from this. Christmas Story original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be?

Many years ago, when the Norwegian Artist’s college diploma couldn’t be rolled up because the ink was still wet, the man worked for a company whose president encouraged an open office where employees, even the lowliest minions, could stride freely into the chief’s office and express their opinions about anything.

As a trusting, lowly minion of the time, the Norwegian took the man at his word and expressed misgivings over certain company policies which didn’t seem especially . . . ethical, especially in light of the president’s confident pronouncement of the company’s Christian policies.

Significant Silence. Then,

“I suggest that you let this matter go,” the president replied, “that is, if you want to keep your job.”

So much for openness and transparency, something that is trumpeted not only in business and government, but within the Christian establishment community, where believers are encouraged, in small groups, to express themselves freely and enjoy the abundant acceptance of Christ.

That is, until they pipe up with something like,

“My essential problem is that I don’t truly trust God and accept that He is as good as He says He is.”

Children are openly, engagingly, and amazingly honest, and we can learn much from them. Bold Innocence, original oil painting by Steve Henderson, sold; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

A lot of people have a problem with true, wrenching, uncomfortable honesty, but I’m here to give you some good news from the ultimate CEO, who is not particularly interested in hearing what you think He wants to hear, but is fully capable of understanding of what is in your heart — sometimes so deep in your heart that you don’t realize it is there.

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart,” Hebrews 4: 12 describes not only God’s word, but God Himself.

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

No matter how dreadful your thought, no matter how uncomfortable it would make another person to hear it, no matter how inappropriate and negative and irreligious and untrusting it sounds, if it’s in your heart, God already knows about it, and your denying that it exists isn’t going to make it go away.

Indeed, the only way to deal with the agonizingly difficult doubts, fears, anxieties, hostilities, and bitterness that we bury, deep down where they fester and grow, is to ask God to use that sword, and pierce the darkness.

And He will fill our souls with light.

Join me Wednesdays for Contempo Christianity, when I talk about living as a real Christian in a world that loves deceit. You can also find me at Commonsense Christianity, BeliefNet, where I post three times a week. Recent articles include 

“I’m Christian, but I’m not Religious”

Two Reasons Why the World Hates Christians

You’re a Name, Not a Number

The Artwork in my articles is by my Norwegian Artist, Steve Henderson, with whom I am celebrating 31 years of marriage this month.

You can find Steve’s original oil and watercolor paintings at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Find Steve’s licensed open edition prints at Great Big CanvasLight in the BoxSears.comAmazon.comSagebrush.comRakuten.comAllPosters.comWall Art BoxLuban DecorArt.com

Businesses and manufacturers: contact Steve’s agents at Art Licensing.

Posted in Art, blogging, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Growth, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, Relationships, religion, santa, spirituality | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Recipe: Good Food

We hate to waste food, but since we couldn’t eat it, we played with it. It’s alarming how well it gums and sticks together.

Don’t ask me how food imitation products made it into my breadbox and refrigerator. With various progeny wandering in and out over the month, assorted highly artificialized items sneaked in, many of which I wasn’t even aware until the Norwegian Artist asked, “What’s this stuff?”

If you want fresh, good, unadulterated food, consider growing something, anything, yourself. Child of Eden, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Not one to waste food, even the imitation product, we put the commercial bread and yellow rubber cheese stuff to good use, as you can see from the headline photo. College Girl and the Son and Heir, recreating their childhood days with homemade PlayDoh, sculpted these various products into ornaments that, due to the various preservatives laced throughout, should last for centuries to come.

Food is a precious commodity, and I don’t like wasting it. When the list of ingredients, however, is 10 lines long and filled with multi-syllabic words that I can’t pronounce, much less understand, I am reluctant to ingest. So in the effort to not waste food, we fed it — or attempted to feed it — to the chickens.

“I can’t give the chickens this bread,” the Son and Heir reported. “It’s so soft that they’ll choke on it.” Thus, the sculptured faces.

We are approaching the end of one year, the beginning of another. If food has always been an afterthought for you, something that you inhale while you’re thinking about or doing something else, give yourself a gift by making a New Year’s resolution that is worthy of keeping:

Eat better.

Stop buying stuff in boxes and learn how to make something, anything for yourself. Join me on Tuesdays for simple,easy recipes that taste good and use real, basic food items that are inexpensive and easy to find.

Food is a necessity, but it is also a pleasure. Increase that pleasure by taking time to enjoy what you eat. Afternoon Tea, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

As a bonus, you’ll save money, because when you’re dependent upon others to create what you eat, three times a day, you pay for that privilege.

This month, the Norwegian Artist and I celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary, and we will celebrate it, as we always do, with a special meal — created at home — which we share with whatever family members happen to be around at the time. Throughout the years, cooking for ourselves has saved money, and saving money has enabled us, on a moderate income, to live in a home and on land that we own — no mortgage.

I talk about this in my book, Live Happily on Less, which I suggest you consider as a New Year’s gift to yourself (digital, $5.99paperback, $12.99 but usually less, at Amazon.com)

Make changes, real changes, this year that you can keep and that are worth keeping.

Posted in Art, blogging, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Family, Food, frugal living, gardening, health, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, News, recipe, saving money, self-improvement, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Child of Eden

Child of Eden, original oil painting by Steve Henderson, 24 x 20

From Start Your Week with Steve, the free weekly e-mail newsletter of Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Viewers and purchasers of Steve’s works frequently want to know the story behind the painting, and for the next several months, Start Your Week with Steve will showcase a painting and tell the story behind it.

This week’s painting is Child of Eden, just off the easel, a memory of summer in the midst of winter’s cold.

An avid gardnener, Steve awaits the first radishes of spring as the harbinger of more fresh food to come. Inevitably, he plants far more radishes than any family could possibly eat, but since the garden is just outside the painting studio and Steve grazes throughout the day, he manages to keep the many varieties of radishes he plants under control.

The garden is the perfect place for an afternoon stroll. Promenade, original oil painting by Steve Henderson, sold; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

When Steve’s grandchild, whom Carolyn in her writing refers to as Small Person, visits, Steve and Small Person spend hours together in the garden. Steve is delighted to find a companion who enjoys grazing through the garden as much as he does. (See Carolyn’s article, Cheap, Odd, and Sort of Practical Gift Giving)

One day, Steve followed Small Person through the garden as she was collecting radishes for the family’s lunch. He was struck by the innocence of a small child in a setting that we frequently associate with innocence as well — the Garden of Eden.

“Gardens have always been places of wonder and growth,” Steve says. “They are a haven of peace where we feel that we have a level of control. We can’t make plants grow, but we can provide a place where they want to grow.

“There is this unique collaboration of God’s hand with man’s hard work, resulting in color, foliage, and food. The child in the garden is further evidence of something, someone actually, who starts impossibly small and grows into a beautiful harvest.”

Steve incorporated an abstract background with the realism of the central figure, transitioning from highly abstract in the very back to

Peace, tranquility, serenity. Peace, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

more realistic foliage in the foreground. In the upper back right, an area of light draws the viewer’s eye further into the garden, with the promise of more growth and life as one goes “further up and further in.” The child holds the radishes as if they were a bouquet of flowers, and just as beautiful.

Peace. Quiet. Innocence. And the miracle of life.

Child of Eden celebrates the garden and the people who love being in it.

Read the rest, and subscribe, at Start Your Week with Steve.

Find Steve’s original oil and watercolor paintings at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Find Steve’s licensed open edition prints at Great Big CanvasLight in the BoxSears.comAmazon.comSagebrush.comRakuten.comAllPosters.comWall Art BoxLuban DecorArt.com

Businesses and manufacturers: contact Steve’s agents at Art Licensing.

Find Carolyn’s books, Live Happily on Less and Grammar Despair, and Steve’s DVD, Step by Step Watercolor Success, at Amazon.com.

Watch how Steve creates his paintings at the Steve Henderson Fine Art YouTube Channel.

Posted in Art, Beauty, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Food, gardening, grandparenting, Green, Growth, home, homesteading, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, Relationships, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment