This Woman Writes by Carolyn Henderson

Christianity Lessons from Facebook

Posted on October 23, 2013 by This Woman Writes

Hormones. They transport us from exuberance to tears. Eyrie, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print available at Great Big Canvas.

You know, some days it’s best not to talk, write, make eye contact, or communicate in any fashion at all. If you have a teenaged daughter in your life, you’re painfully aware of how quickly a controversial statement, like “Good Morning!” can be misinterpreted to the point of tears.

So it was with a recent Facebook comment I quickly (Mistake #1) and flippantly (Mistake #2) posted. Any more information than that and the person who messaged me, 8 seconds later, in high dudgeon, will recognize himself/herself, and since it was only by means of almost debasing myself to groveling in the dirt that I mitigated the situation (actually, I simply apologized for the misunderstanding), I don’t want to go through that again.

What intrigued me was not so much the gross misinterpretation of my words, as it was the genuine hurt and pain in my correspondent’s thoughts. S/he thought that I — a person of some meaning in his/her life — would publicly insult him/her so that I would look clever and intelligent.

The sad thing about this attitude is that s/he, like many people in this society, are validated in feeling that way. Our society — our clever, witty, droll, quick, one-liner amalgam of people who walk through each day as if we were characters in a movie or reality show — rewards people who make funny comments, even if — and often especially when — they come at the expense of others.

“Deal with it,” people are told. “Dish it back or leave the room. Nobody

Love, honor, protect. This is what adults do with children, and this is what makes adults, grown ups. Beachside Diversions, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

likes a crybaby.”

I don’t know about you, but the last time I heard a baby cry, I dropped everything I was doing and made sure that she was okay. That’s what adults do with children: we love them, protect them, nurture them, and comfort them when they cry.

But when they grow up, we eat them.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up,” the apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:29. And while we generally jump to swearin’ and cussin’ as examples of unwholesome talk, check out the “building others up,” part. Flip, pithy comments, which always draw a laugh from somewhere, frequently don’t build up the butt of the comment. The person attacked feels like an ass.

Sorry. I couldn’t resist — I love word play, and I deliberately frolicked in the last sentence to show that being a Christian doesn’t mean we can’t be funny, we can’t make puns, we can’t play with the language even to the point of naughtiness (always keeping in mind that there’s a right time and a right place for everything — our dining room table is the venue of some remarkably interesting jokes that will never be printed in this column) — but we don’t tear down.

Home. We should be safe there. Wild Child, original oil painting by Steve Henderson of Steve Henderson Fine Art; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

We live in a rude society where our defenses go up the moment we step out the door. Some people have their defenses up all the time, because even within their home they feel attacked. As Christians, we can season our words with salt (“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone,” Colossians 4:6) and mitigate the verbal and emotional damage people undergo as part of their normal day.

You don’t have to slip in the word, “Jesus,” or “Praise God!” to season your words with grace. A smile, which involves no words at all, warms the soul. A gentle observation — “You handled that very well,” — encourages and uplifts. Tactful silence, something Job would have appreciated, has its place.

Words hurt, and words heal. They build up; they tear down; and the memory of their utterance echoes through the years, providing constant suffering, or constant joy.

Every year, on my children’s birthday, I make a point of saying, “I’m glad you were born,” because I know that there are far too many people who have heard the opposite. I can’t do anything to take away the pain of those words in those people’s hearts and heads, but if I watch my mouth, think twice before speaking once, and stop worrying about sounding witty and bright, I may have the opportunity of putting in a good word that may, someday, lead people closer to the Word Himself.

Join me Wednesdays for my Contempo Christianity articles, discussing how real Christians live like, well, real people in the 21st century. You can also find me at Commonsense Christianity, my blog at BeliefNet. Recent articles there include

People Call Us Stupid, You Know

Should Christians Think?

Only . . . BELIEVE!

Many times, we are our own worse enemy when it comes to

Don’t sell yourself short. You can write. You have things to say, so learn how to say them.

making ourselves feel bad: we don’t look write, talk right, think right — because we compare ourselves to others. Well, one of the best ways to improve your outlook on yourself is to improve yourself, period, and if one of the things that make you feel bad is that you don’t know grammar, and you feel that you can’t express yourself — then take a look at my book, Grammar Despair: Quick, simple solutions to problems like, “Do I say Him and Me or He and I?”

Do you know how many people don’t know the answer to that question? On our fine art website, we consistently get visits from people all over the planet — from banks, insurance companies, universities, government agencies, you name it — reading the article I wrote on this subject.

Go ahead, hit the link, the article’s free, and hopefully it will answer the question you’ve had in your mind all this time. But then, consider getting the book — this isn’t the only issue plaguing writers, and Grammar Despair will get you through the major ones without — and this is the best part — having to know grammar. Paperback $8.99, digital 5.99 at Amazon.com. Also at Barnes and Noble.

Posted in acceptance, Art, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family, grandparenting, Growth, home, homeschooling, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, News, Parenting, Personal, Random, Relationships | Tagged comments, Facebook, feelings, hurt, witty | 6 Comments

Recipe: Scalloped Potatoes

Posted on October 22, 2013 by This Woman Writes

I used some blue potatoes in this dish — you can see them sliced, in the background next to the plate. Photo Credit Steve Henderson Fine Art

The other day I was standing in the kitchen, staring at the counters, wondering what I could possibly put together to eat for dinner that night.

Sound familiar?

Fortunately, my eye alighted on a basket of potatoes gathered from our garden, and I thought — “Scalloped potatoes! Yes! I can make these even if the only way I know whether there’s an ‘e’ at the end of the plural form is when spellcheck tells me so.”

(I don’t ascribe to either political party, but I always thought it unfair of the media to jump on Dan Quayle so severely because he couldn’t spell a word most people have difficulty with. Quick — spell the plural of tomato — is there an e, or not?

And regarding the ability to make verbal faux pas, which is a nice way of saying, stupid things, this is decidedly a bi-partisan skill.)

Back to dinner. Scalloped Potatoes, while they’re not necessarily quick, what with all the slicing of the potatoes, are easy and inexpensive, and if you use a decent potato that wasn’t grown to provide bagged chips for the masses, you have a nutritious meal as well. Add a salad. Or not. Depends upon how you feel after slicing all the potatoes and cleaning up your kitchen mess.

Scalloped Potatoes — serves 4 as a main dish, 6-8 as a side dish

Ingredients

Potatoes, 6 medium, thinly sliced (I’m talking 1/8 inch thin, but you can fudge up to 1/4 inch or so. Don’t panic. The reason the slices need to be thin is because you don’t cook the potatoes first; if the slices are too thick, the dish will take a long time to bake.)

While you’re waiting for the casserole to cook, you can do dishes, read a book, or fuss with your hair. Figurative II, licensed open edition print by Steve Henderson at Great Big Canvas, Light in the Box, Amazon, and Rakuten.com

1/3 pound bacon, chopped into loose 1/2 inch dice

1 cup cheese, grated and divided into two 1/2 cups

Thin White Sauce:

1/4 cup butter

2 Tablespoons flour

3 cups milk

1 teaspoon salt

It’s multi-tasking time: saute the bacon in a frying pan until done — go for as crispy as you like. In the meantime, make the white sauce by melting the butter, stirring in the flour and salt until you have a paste, then whisking in the milk. Cook gently over medium heat, stirring often, until thickened, which happens pretty much just as the liquid mixture begins to bubble. (The sauce won’t be very thick, just mildly thickened, because that’s a lot of milk in proportion to the butter and flour.)

While the bacon is cooking and the white sauce is on its way to thickening, slice the potatoes.

Layer half of the potatoes in a greased 9 x 12 pan. Sprinkle over 1/2 cup of the cheese and all of the bacon. If you like, you can drizzle the grease from cooking the bacon over the potato mixture. Pour half of the white sauce over the bacon/potato/cheese mixture.

Layer the remaining half of the potatoes and the remaining cheese. Pour over the rest of the white sauce. Cover the dish — and by the way, you don’t have to use tin foil if you’re like me and never have the stuff in the house. I place the pan in the oven and cover it with an upside down cookie sheet. Works for me, and it doesn’t cost anything. Just be careful when you lift the sheet that you don’t scald yourself with steam.

Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. The potato slices should be soft and completely cooked.

Most people, with normal incomes, feel as if there’s never enough to go around. I can’t do anything about death and taxes, but I can tell you about some lifestyle changes that will make a positive difference.

Join me Tuesdays for easy, inexpensive recipes using good, fresh ingredients. Wednesdays I write about Contempo Christianity (you can also find me at Commonsense Christianity at BeliefNet); Thursdays I write about Homeschooling; and Fridays it’s Financial Health.

And speaking of financial health, I know how to spend money wisely and well — which is why we own our home, paid cash for our car, and have no creditors — all on a normal budget, not that of a seminar speaker. My book, Live Happily on Less, walks you through the lifestyle changes that you can make to live better on the resources you have.

No complicated workbooks, no series of video classes over several weeks, no hefty price tag. Just a book, with chatty little essays like most of my writing, $12.99 paperback (generally on sale for less), $5.99 digital, free on Amazon Prime.

I’m self published, because commercial publishers like people with recognizable names, especially ones that span more than one generation — but by the time your name is that well known, you’re not living much like a normal person anymore.

What was the old ABBA song? Take a Chance on Me.

Posted in Art, blogging, cooking, Culture, Daily Life, dinner idea, Encouragement, Family, Food, frugal living, gardening, Green, Growth, home, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, Random, recipe, saving money | Tagged dinner, inexpensive, potatoes, recipe, scalloped | 1 Comment

Becoming More Self Sufficient

Posted on October 21, 2013 by This Woman Writes

Part of our messy, yet productive, garden and the greenhouse Steve built this spring. Photo credit Steve Henderson Fine Art.

From Start Your Week with Steve, the free weekly e-mail newsletter of Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Steve Says:

Because the concentration required to paint a fine art piece is exhausting, I take a break every 90 minutes from the easel. I chop wood, dig literal ditches (my son and I are building a root cellar) or muck around in the garden.

In our household, while we enjoy working in the garden, we take that garden seriously in that we actually eat what comes out of it. This year’s crop of potatoes, onions, garlic, squash, and kale have been feeding us for months, and look serious about feeding us for many months to come.

With gardening, as with painting, you can rapidly spend yourself into poverty by buying all sorts of gadgets and products, so we have taken to making many things ourselves. Those of you who purchase my Digital Watercolor Workshop DVD will find directions for two of those money-saving gadgets — a brush holder and a portable easel — at the end of the DVD. The more you learn how to make yourself, the more independent you are.

This same philosophy prevailed this spring when I made a portable

Hanging up clothes, if only on one warm summer day, is a means of being more self sufficient. Sophie and Rose, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

greenhouse out of PVC pipe and garden-grade plastic, increasing our growing season — in both directions — by a significant factor. As with any project undertaken for the first time, there are things I would, and will, do differently the next time, but part of being more independent is increasing your knowledge and experience base. And you don’t increase these without actually experience.

There is a hidden myth, in our society, that perfection is the equivalent of expertise, and experts in any field never, or rarely, make mistakes.

The truth is actually the opposite, and people who are truly expert at what they do get that way

because they spend a lot of time and effort making mistakes as they are learning how to do something. Yes, we can learn from others’ mistakes, and it is wise to do so, but many times we are forging ahead on a path unique to ourselves, and much of the finessing we do on our own time, under our own steam.

In this uncertain age, with its variable economy and the lack of confidence that it engenders, all of us can experiment somehow, doing something, that increases our self-sufficiency. If you have never grown a garden before, plant a tomato plant and see what happens. If you do grow a garden, think seriously about how it can feed you more efficiently and well.

You do not have to be a pioneer on the prairie, relying 95 percent upon your own efforts, to do this, and indeed, if you set the bar too high, you’ll never start. Just pick up a skill, in anything that doesn’t have to do with electronic gadgetry, and quietly start trying things. Observe your mistakes, learn from them, recognize that within each mistake is a seed of something you did right, and keep moving ahead.

In a short amount of time, you will look back and think, “I have really learned a lot within the last few months, and I am more independent now than I was at the beginning of the year.

Now THAT’S success, independence, and progress toward self-sufficiency.

Read the rest, and subscribe, at Start Your Week with Steve.

Becoming self sufficient is a process that you work at day by day. One of the most important things you can do is start; the second most important thing is to not give up. Live Happily on Less — 52 Ways to Renovate Your Life and Lifestyle by Carolyn Henderson, manager of Steve Henderson Fine Art, walks you through simple, easy-to-make lifestyle changes you can make right now, and see both immediate and long term results.

$12.99 paperback, $5.99 digital, or borrow it for free via AmazonPrime at Amazon.com. Also available at Barnes and Noble.

Posted in Art, blogging, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, diy, Economy, Encouragement, Family, finances, frugal living, gardening, Green, home, homesteading, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, money, News, Personal, saving money, self-improvement | Tagged DVD, gardening, greenhouse, newsletter, self sufficient, watercolor | Leave a comment

The Properly Socialized Homeschooler

Posted on October 17, 2013 by This Woman Writes

Home is a great place to learn about a lot of things, including socialization. Wild Child, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Years ago, I chatted with a public school educator who upbraided me on our family decision to homeschool our children.

“I can’t argue with you that what you’re doing academically is superior,” she said. “Your ability to give one on one time to each student, as well as your freedom to customize subject matter to their interests and learning levels, is beyond anything I could do in the classroom.”

At this point, I was thinking, “And the problem is . . .?”

“But,” she continued, and this is the big But that moons about any hostile discussion of homeschooling,

“What about socialization?”

I bet you’ve heard that one before. I heard it so many times that I was actually able to come up with a clever repartee:

“It’s because we want our children to be normally socialized that we homeschool them.”

That’s not just a smart retort; it’s something that I increasingly see as true.

Getting away from the crowd can take us to pristine, awe inspiring places. Lady of the Lake, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition art print at Great Big Canvas.

At the base, as always, is the concept of “normal,” and what this animal really looks like. Because the bulk of our child populace attends public school, with its age-segregated, oversized classrooms, “normal” means dealing with peer pressure, conforming to a group standard so that you won’t get made fun of, seeking out the approval of the popular caste, and hiding hard work, ambition, or intelligence so you won’t be labeled a teacher’s pet or overachiever.

The goal is to fit in and not shake the boat, which trains people admirably for a later life of working under corporate cubicle infrastructure. For all we talk about creativity and celebrating our differences, when those two people walk into the room, we generally encourage them to leave.

My instructor friend went on to comment on her experience with homeschooled children who had matriculated into her classroom:

“They ask too many questions,” she said, “and they frequently want to know why we are doing what we are doing.”

What an interesting thing to complain about.

While at some point, in all of our lives, we simply must shut up and do what needs to be done, it’s sad that as an aspect of normal socialization, this process must begin so early, and continue for so long. Don’t we want a populace that asks questions, and wants to know why it is we’re doing what we’re doing?

Questing, questioning, exploring people — that’s a good thing. Bold Innocence; licensed open edition art print by Steve Henderson at Great Big Canvas.

It’s intriguing that homeschooled children — who are frequently accused of being raised in a “sheltered environment” — are known for a spirit of gregariousness, being willing to talk to people of all ages, from very young children to the elderly, and the major beef about them is that they don’t deal as well with a cluster of their peers.

So normal, in our society, is that you function — not necessarily thrive — in your peer group, but don’t interact well with those below or above you — sometimes as little as one grade level.

As I said, it’s because we wanted our children so socialize normally that we decided to homeschool them.

It’s not a simple matter of the public school system being wrong and the homeschoolers being right — no complex issue can be reduced to System A on one side and System B on the other. Many public school students are outgoing and friendly, even those who are quiet, just as many homeschoolers are as well. And within both public school and homeschool environments, there are children who seem awkward, shy, introverted — our society labels this abnormal, although what is preferable about a social butterfly incapable of establishing or maintaining deep, significant relationships, I don’t know.

It is a matter, however, of truly looking at this “diversity” word that a noisy, minority — yet powerful — segment of our society bandies about, and acknowledging that we’re really not looking for, celebrating, or even accepting the individual differences that make up human beings.

Mavericks, exhibiting a true independent spirit, are harder and harder to find in real life, and while we read about them in books and see them in Clint Eastwood movies, when they stand up in the middle of the crowd and say, “The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, is he?” the distressing response is,

“You’re so unsocialized. You must have been homeschooled.”

Keep it up, homeschooling community. We need this type of socialization.

When you truly put your family first, you will automatically

You want to save money? Then you’ll find yourself living differently and outside the “norm.”

be outside the norm. As homeschoolers, you know what it’s like to live on less so that you can follow your principles, and I encourage you to look at my book, Live Happily on Less, for ideas on how you can improve even more.

I know — you’re the choir, and you’re already saving money. But I’m willing to bet that you haven’t gone as far as I have, and that our experience — in which we built our home on land we saved up and purchased, resulting in a mortgage-free life — has something, anything, to add to your arsenal of money-saving lifestyle activities.

$12.99 paperback (usually on sale for less), $5.99 digital, free to AmazonPrime members. At Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

Join me Thursdays at This Woman Writes for my articles on Homeschooling, based upon 20 years of math, reading, and cookie baking with my four progeny. Join me, also, at my Commonsense Christianity column at BeliefNet. The latest posts are Not All Homeschoolers Are Christian, Only . . . BELIEVE, and Three Halloween No No’s for Christians.

Posted in acceptance, Art, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Education, Encouragement, Family, grandparenting, home, homeschooling, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, News, Parenting, school, self-improvement, Uncategorized | Tagged academics, homeschooling, normal, peer pressure, socialization | Leave a comment

Why I — a Christian — Celebrate Halloween

Posted on October 16, 2013 by This Woman Writes

For one magical night, every girl can be a princess. Enchanted, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

It’s okay to hate Halloween. Lots of Christians do, because they feel that the day’s pagan roots are so dreadful, there’s no room for celebration, compromise, or wiggle room.

It’s also okay to love Halloween, and I’m one of those people who do.

Halloween is one of many subjects about which good people disagree, and as a person who comes out swinging with very little provocation, I have to admit that it’s hard to keep my mouth shut when someone tells another person how wicked she is for dressing her child up as a pink bunny and escorting her from door to door with a hollow orange plastic pumpkin.

What’s worse is that Halloween gets hit from all sides — from those who decry it as incontrovertibly evil because of its roots to those who care nothing about witches and warlocks but panic at the thought of other people’s children eating candy and walking about, in the dark, at night. These are the people who feel that they, and anyone else in a village of social service workers, medico consultants, educative counselors, and government regulators, are best qualified to make decisions for ordinary parents. I think I like the first group, better.

Home, and family, is the heart of our nation, and anything that strengthens it is good. Sophie and Rose, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Because, at its most elementary, uniquely Americanized base, Halloween is a family holiday.

I know. There are groups of children who wander about unattended, but even these frequently travel in a protective mass, and in years of trick-or-treating with our own kids and the generation after that, we have seen young teenagers protectively watching the five-year-old bumblebee and seven-year-old princess in their care.

For the most part what we have seen are parents — mom, dad, or both — hovering in the background as their ghost, or dinosaur, or oversized M & M — walks up to a brightly lit porch, presses the bell, and shouts/whispers/mumbles/announces, “Trick or Treat!”

The homeowner invariably smiles, and a delightful exchange between children and adults ensues as the bowl is brought out and the selection made. “Thank you!” is called out, and if not, the parent in the background stage whispers a reminder. Under the watchful aegis of that parent, a child forays into an independent moment, and he is safe on a night of magical and imaginative adventure.

America’s greatness lies not in the people who elect themselves to be its leaders, but in its real, ordinary, hardworking people — the kind who shepherd pink bunnies from door to door. Homeland 3 by Steve Henderson, licensed open edition art print at Great Big Canvas.

And everyone is happy: the parents, because they are proud of their children and are focused on spending time with them; the children, because not only are they hauling in the good stuff, but because they are sharing this time with those proud parents; the homeowner, because it’s fun to make children smile. No school-sponsored carnival, with its age-appropriate games and emphasis on bright lights and Safe Safe Safety, can compare — nor can it draw families together into the tight, independent, self-protective units that they are designed to be.

And for no other reason than this, Christians might want to re-think their take on Halloween. It is a holiday that encourages families to venture out into the community and interact with it, on their own, without professional guidance or the supervision of any establishment. Mom and Dad are in charge — not the teacher, not the police officer, not the doctor, not the bureaucrat — and you’d have to admit that, in this day, this isn’t happening much anymore. Too many people think that our children are their responsibility, and we “share” our concerns, somehow.

Yes, Halloween has pagan roots. All holidays do, ultimately. But as

Join me at my column , Commonsense Christianity, at BeliefNet.

Join me at my blog, Commonsense Christianity, at BeliefNet.

imaginative human beings, we reshape and reform the celebration and tradition to conform with our beliefs, and we wind up with highly personalized forms of observing Christmas, and Easter, and Valentine’s Day, and Halloween. What is most important — and more and more vital in a society that grasps for more and more control — is that the traditions we create strengthen, empower, and fortify families.

Because families, not government, are the basis for a strong civilization.

So Halloween, my friends, may be far more valuable than we realize.

I invite you to join me at Commonsense Christianity, my column at BeliefNet, where I post three times a week. For more on Halloween, please see Three Halloween No No’s for Christians and The Big Halloween Bash.

Posted in Art, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Growth, holiday, home, homeschooling, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, News, Parenting, Personal, religion, self-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged america, Christian, family, government, Halloween | 2 Comments

Recipe: Peanut Butter Muffins

Posted on October 15, 2013 by This Woman Writes

What a way to say “love” — a warm, homemade muffin. Photo credit Steve Henderson Fine Art.

I love muffins. They’re fast, easy, inexpensive, and easily adaptable to any meal. If you’re facing the dinner hour and find yourself staring at the kitchen cupboards, mind totally blank, then why not make muffins, brew a pot of tea, cut up some fruit, put it all on a tray that you carry out to the living room, and sit around the coffee table, gently talking over the day’s events?

When you use whole grain flour, or, as I do, whole grain ancient wheat flour like Kamut or spelt, you can be assured that you’ve got something decently healthy, even when the muffin is sweet, like this one.

Remember, you’re always ahead when you cook for yourself, at home, as opposed to purchasing something in a little white bag at a fast-food establishment. Not having access to artificial flavorings and chemical additives, home cooks don’t use them, and if you eat up what you make within a day or two, you don’t have to worry that it doesn’t have a three-month shelf life.

Cooking for ourselves is the first major, realistic, workable step that we can take to save money, as I mention in my book, Live Happily on Less. Saving money is a lifestyle thing that you can start this very minute, and keep getting better at each day, and in this uncertain world and erratic economy, it’s a skill that all of us benefit from.

Peanut Butter Muffins — Makes 12-18 muffins (I know; this seems like a lot, but some of my muffin pans hold more or less than others, even when they’re supposed to be the same size; also, I find that ancient wheat products require less batter in each muffin cup)

Ingredients:

1/2 cup peanut butter (I use the old fashioned kind that you have to

Perfect for tea, breakfast, lunch, or dinner, muffins are wonderful! Afternoon Tea, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

stir to blend)

2 Tablespoons oil

7/8 cup sugar (Wholesome Sweeteners Fair Trade is my favorite, and I pick it up at Costco)

1 egg

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 1/4 cups whole grain flour (I use a blend of spelt and Kamut; you can use just regular whole wheat if you wish, but you may need a little more to make the batter stiff enough)

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

1 Tablespoon lemon juice

1/3 cup chocolate chips, chopped (this is a simple money saving strategy that I learned from my Depression-era mother — if you chop the chips into smaller chunks, they spread more out through the batter. So you don’t get massive pieces of chocolate here and there, but you do get little bits of chocolate everywhere. The muffin looks prettier, as well)

With a wooden spoon, blend the peanut butter and oil together until smooth; stir in the sugar until mixed, then the egg until blended. Mixture will be thick.

Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together in a bowl. Dump atop the peanut butter mixture; pour the milk and lemon juice over, and gently stir until mixed. If you overstir, the muffins will fall, which isn’t the end of the world, but it always makes you feel bad.

The batter should be thick, like stirred cottage cheese, so if you need to add more flour, do so a tablespoon or so at a time.

Stir in the chopped chocolate chips.

Fill greased muffin tins more than 1/2 full, but less than 2/3. Bake at 350 degrees for 13-17 minutes, until the tops spring back when you touch them lightly. If you are using ancient wheat flours, these tend to bake up more quickly than conventional wheat.

In insecure times, we gain confidence by knowing how to do more things for ourselves.

Enjoy! Turn off the television, gather together whatever life forms are in your household, and be grateful for food.

Enjoying time together with family and friends is a simple thing we all wish we did more of, but there’s no reason why we can’t as long as we realize it’s a priority. It’s also another of those simple, yet pleasurable, lifestyle changes we can make to Live Happily on Less.

Posted in baking, blogging, books, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, dinner idea, Economy, Encouragement, Faith, Family, finances, Food, frugal living, Growth, health, home, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, money, News, Random, recipe, saving money, self-improvement | Tagged chocolate chips, muffins, peanut butter, recipe, whole grains | Leave a comment

Homeschooling and the Messy House

Posted on October 10, 2013 by This Woman Writes

To save money, we did, and still do, hang our clothes on the line. Sophie and Rose, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Years ago, when I had four young homeschooled children who inhabited every room of our house, 24-hours a day, I had a messy, cluttery home.

And I felt bad, because I knew other people, who also had children, who also homeschooled them, and who had pristinely clean homes, so clean that when I came over to visit, with my messy, chaotic brood, they announced apologetically,

“Please excuse the mess. We just haven’t had time to clean.” And they plumped the perfect pillow and artistically leaned it against the couch. Not only was there no dust anywhere, there were no books, magazines, papers, clothes, or any other sign of intelligent life. But oh, their home was clean, because they were organized and efficient and amazing and so much better than I was.

But children talk, you know, and if you are one of these amazing households with multiple children and a pristinely clean home, you might want to remember this. More than one guest at our lunch table artlessly gave us valuable information about what life was really like in their perfect, pristinely clean home:

“We spend two hours every afternoon cleaning and vacuuming,” one

Children are such busy, active, not tidy little things. Wild Child, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

child told us. “I hate it!”

Another one asked, incredulously, “You’re allowed to read books in your living room? We can’t do anything on the main floor of the house. Mom says it makes the place look messy.”

Still a third commented, “You ought to see our basement! That’s where we spend all our time, and it looks like a pig pen!”

At one time in my life, I kept my house pristinely clean, a situation that required hours of work on my part, and which lasted until the birth of my first child. As successive progeny arrived, I kept slavishly tidying and tinkering and vacuuming and tucking things away, and as the kids grew older, I enlisted their “help.” Eventually, however, I realized that I had a choice:

I wanted to spend more time with my kids creating precious memories, than I did yelling about toys on the floor. Seaside Story by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

1) I could yell at the kids, on a pretty consistent basis, and we could spend hours tidying and tinkering, resulting in a reasonably pristine looking living environment that lasted in five minute increments

2) I could accept that, as a homeschooling family, we lived in every corner of the house, all the time, and signs of habitation would prevail. While the place would not be cockroach- or Black Plague rat-friendly, it would also not be a shiny, stainless steel environment with all the personality of a hospital room. Life happened somewhere in between, and guests in the home never had any problems finding reading material ranging from Good Night Moon to The Count of Monte Cristo.

The dishes were washed, dried, and the floor swept. Socks, however, were not ironed.

The carpet was vacuumed on a semi-regular basis, but there was no danger of the vacuum breaking down from overuse.

Random papers, and books, were on pretty much every available flat surface, and cupboard doors were blessed because they had the ability to close and hide the contents behind. When I mused once about my lack of time to reorder the contents of the kitchen cupboards, one daughter commented, “You seriously have nothing better to do with your time?” She was right; I had just been for a brief visit to a pristinely clean home.

If you homeschool, give yourself a break: you, and your children, live in your home All. The. Time. There is no eight-hour period of respite in which nobody, or only you and the dog, rattles around, picking up after people and tidying.

Not too far in the future, however, there will most likely be a time when it’s only you and the dog and the spouse, because all the messy, chaotic, noisy children are gone. Do you want your memories to be those of constant cleaning, constant picking up, constant worrying

Some of us sail through life in a rowboat, some in a yacht, others in something in between. We learn to use the craft we have. Autumn Sail by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

about your pristine, clean home?

Another myth about homeschooling is that all people who do it are Christians, and I write about this in today’s Commonsense Christianity article at BeliefNet — Not All Homeschoolers Are Christian. If you’re not a Christian and you homeschool, it should come as a breath of fresh air that people know you exist, and matter. If you are a Christian, it’s always a good reminder that others out there do things differently, and we can learn from them.

And speaking of commonsense, if you are looking to save money in these difficult times, I recommend, as always, my book, Live Happily on Less. I recognize that many, many homeschoolers, Christian or not, are sensible with their money, because they have to be — they’ve made a commitment to their family that frequently results in a financial hit.

Even so, I am convinced that Live Happily on Less will give you ideas that you never thought of, because it is a lifestyle book — encouraging you to continue to make the subtle, small changes that add up to financial sensibility. If you are Christian, you might have paid to take video seminars from famous financial people at your church — I’ve seen these, and the complicated workbook projects stopped me, not to mention the price of admission. My book is $5.99 digital, $12.99 paperback (but generally on sale for less), and available for borrowing through Amazon Prime.

And I’m one of you. A mom, a homeschooler, a regular person with a regular income who lives an everyday life. Who better to know how to actually do it?

Posted in acceptance, Art, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Education, Encouragement, Faith, Family, finances, frugal living, grandparenting, home, homeschooling, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, money, Motherhood, News, Parenting, Random, Relationships, school, self-improvement, Uncategorized | Tagged cleaning, homeschooling, housework, making memories, messy | 2 Comments

Recipe: Sexy, Brooding, Dark Chocolate Muffins

Posted on October 8, 2013 by This Woman Writes

Muffins are a great food for any time. Photo courtesy Steve Henderson Fine Art

Let’s face it: food is sensual, and lest you think that the kids can’t read this column, get a grip on the word “sensual” — we’re talking about appealing to our senses of taste, sight, smell, touch, and hearing. Sexy, Brooding, Dark Chocolate Muffins turn breakfast — or dinner! I like breakfast foods at dinner — into a time to lean back, close your eyes, and say,

“Mmmmm! These are warm and soft and complex and deep. I like the crunch of the salted almonds set against the soft cakey texture of the muffin itself.”

Considering that we eat three times a day, we can really derive more enjoyment out of the experience than as if we were filling the gas tank of the SUV. And indeed, if your life is blessed enough that you don’t wonder where your next meal is coming from, then acknowledge that blessedness by taking time to focus on the food, thank the person who made it, and interact with the people sharing the meal with you.

Food is a gift, and regardless of whether or not you acknowledge the universal Giver, be thankful every time you eat.

Let’s make muffins!

Sexy, Brooding, Dark Chocolate Muffins — Makes 12-15 regular sized muffins

Ingredients:

1/2 cup coconut oil, room temperature (although it seems like an oxymoron, coconut oil is not liquid at room temperature, but more like butter. If you don’t have coconut oil, then go ahead and use butter)

3/4 cup sugar (Wholesome Sweeteners Fair Trade Organic is my favorite, and I get it at Costco. I like the chunkier texture, in addition to the lack of chemical bleaching additives)

1 egg (I would really prefer to use two — but the chickens aren’t laying well right now. They’re all molting, and they look ridiculously funny)

1 Tablespoon vanilla (Yep. A tablespoon. I like this stuff. If you don’t have it, use water or milk)

1 1/2 cup flour — Kamut, Spelt, or other ancient grain, or whole wheat (for my take on ancient grains and why we use them instead of modern

Got food? Be grateful. You can’t eat a Porsche. Afternoon Tea — original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

commercial wheat products, check out Ancient Wheat — a potential alternative to gluten free. I used half Kamut and half Spelt; if you don’t have these, use conventional whole wheat flour — and if you’ve got nothing else in the house but the white enriched stuff, go ahead and use it — just by cooking for yourself you’re doing oodles for your financial and physical health; just be aware that you may have to add more white flour to get the right texture)

1/2 cup Dutch process cocoa (this is deeper and darker than the non-Dutch process, but use what you have)

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup milk

1 Tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar (the acid in the lemon juice or vinegar reacts chemically with the baking soda, resulting in a softer crumb in the baked product)

1/4 cup roasted and salted almonds, chopped

1/4 cup chocolate chips, chopped

Cream the coconut oil or butter together with the sugar until well blended. Add the egg and vanilla and mix on low until incorporated.

Put away the mixer and pull out the spoon, because once you add the flour to a muffin recipe, if you overmix, you’ll wind up with fallen (sinful! decadent!) muffins.

I dump the flour over the coconut oil/sugar mixture, pour the milk/lemon juice mixture atop, and stir gently just until mixed. You should have a stiff batter that isn’t dry. You don’t want it soupy, like cream, but you don’t want it thick, like cookie dough. Go for the just right that’s in between, and if it isn’t just right this time, don’t give up in despair; just make adjustments next time. That’s how you become a good cook — you keep trying, experimenting, and learning from both your failures and successes.

Stir in the almonds and chocolate chips.

I know how insecure people are feeling about money these days, and I know that this book can help.

Fill greased muffin tins 1/2 to 2/3 full. If you have any muffin spaces that don’t have batter, cover the bottom with water.

Bake at 350 degrees for 14-17 minutes, until the tops are brown and bounce back when you poke them lightly.

Those of you who regularly read me know that I’ve got a few theme songs that I keep singing, and one of them is — learn to cook for yourself. We live in a society of literal consumers, in that we buy stuff and use it up, and we are losing our independent roots of learning how to do things for ourselves and our families. Cooking is one of the first, and easiest, tasks we can take back into our lives. I write about food on Tuesdays, financial health on Fridays.

These are uncertain times — even people like me who assiduously avoid the talking heads on the news programs know that we’re living through a period of insecurity — in our economy, political climate, and society, and one way we battle insecurity is to grab whatever control we can in our own lives. My book, Live Happily on Less, walks you through the small, easy, and realistic lifestyle changes that you can incorporate into your life so that you don’t have to be so dependent upon somebody else to get from the morning tea to the evening Kombucha.

The digital edition is $5.99, the paperback retails for $12.99 but is usually on sale for $11 or so. As a person who has managed a minimalist amount of money and achieved a maximum amount of lifestyle satisfaction, I really recommend listening to me. I know that sounds bloated and vain, but how many people do you know who know how to manage their money without being weird about it?

Posted in Art, baking, blogging, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, dinner idea, Economy, Encouragement, Family, finances, Food, frugal living, Growth, health, home, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, money, News, recipe, self-improvement, success, Uncategorized | Tagged breakfast, chocolate, cook, food, muffins | Leave a comment

Alternative Lifestyle Challenges

Posted on October 3, 2013 by This Woman Writes

My alternative lifestyle embraces living simply, loving family, and being independent. Dandelions, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Because I am essentially an ordinary person, my chosen alternative lifestyle is not one to provoke hate mail, rabid Tweets, and major national news stories. I figure that what goes on in my bedroom — with my Kindle and the unfriendly cat who really hates to snuggle — is my business, and you’re probably not interested in it.

My alternative lifestyle involves things like cooking from scratch, debating whether I will actually splurge on (organic, GMO-free) snack chips, or whether we should plant twice as many pumpkins this year. Most of my — and our family’s — focus is on creating, doing things for ourselves, and saving money by not being rabid consumers of cheap plastic products. In today’s American society, you gotta admit that’s a little different, and come to think of it, I suppose it’s radical.

But it’s still not blaring its way through major news.

One thing you discover, however, when you truly strive to live sensibly, sustainably, and inexpensively, is that a lot of products out there that promise to help you do so . . . don’t. We once invested in a razor blade sharpener: theoretically, it was supposed to increase the life of our disposable razors by weeks and weeks and weeks, because it honed the blade to a crisp, fine, deadly edge.

In reality, it was a piece of mirror with a frame around it. I’d call it cheap plastic junk except for the mirror part.

Inexpensive is fine — that’s a rowboat. Cheap is a craft — rowboat or yacht — with holes in it. Shore Leave, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Another product I have fallen for more than once are the pump spray units that are supposed to replace pressurized cooking sprays. I avoid the latter because many of them consist of canola oil, an agricultural product increasingly associated with GMOs (Genetically Modified Organisms). Call me a fanatic, send me a hate Tweet, but I just don’t feel comfy with this. As a consumer, that’s my call.

Well back to the pump sprays — theoretically (isn’t that a great word?) you pump the handle of the unit up and down, the oil in the container unit pressurizes, and a fine mist spray — that mimics the spray from the pressurized can — gently massages your muffin tins, or cake pan, or skillet.

At the best of times, which is generally the first week of ownership — a reasonable facsimile of mist ushers forth. It’s never as fine as the pressurized version, but then again, the alternative product doesn’t contain Propellant– Non-Chlorofluorocarbons. I seem to be out of those in my kitchen cupboards this week.

Sometime, anytime after you have thrown away the receipt for the thing, a pathetic piddle of oil streams forth, and no matter how much you pump the pump, pathetic reigns.

When you live alternatively by living independently, life looks different. It looks good. Spirit of the Canyon, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition art print at Great Big Canvas.

Which brings me to the conclusion we have reached about alternative products: they rarely, if ever, perform like the “real” thing. Vinegar based cleaners, while decidedly healthier than their chemical competitors, do not clean the same. Gelatinized flax seed, which may look like hair gel, will not spike your hair to the sky. I don’t care what mystery plant is ground into that laundry detergent, you’re going to need more than a half-teaspoon for a large load.

The thing to remember about living alternatively is twofold:

Alternative means different, and anyone who assures you that their natural product is exactly the same as its chemical counterpart, is probably not being 100 percent forthright. The more they’re charging, the more you might want to research the matter.

Don’t give up — it’s worth trying sustainable, homemade alternatives that don’t pour more money into the pockets of major chemical manufacturers. Just don’t expect them to be, or do, the exact same thing. They may not clean as well. They also won’t trigger your allergies, or worse.

Keep being different, experiment, make mistakes, and try out new things. And — alternative or conventional — remember: Buyer Beware.

My Friday Financial Health articles are based upon information in my book, Live Happily on

Yes, you can live with what you have.

Less, which is a straightforward, commonsense guide on how you can take the resources you have, and live well on them. You don’t need another job; you need this book. Available at Amazon.com in paperback ($12.99) or digital ($5.99), and at Barnes and Noble.

This article was originally published at ThoughtfulWomen.org.

Posted in Art, blogging, books, Christian, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Economy, Encouragement, Family, finances, frugal living, Green, Growth, home, homesteading, Life, Lifestyle, money, News, Random, saving money, self-improvement, shopping, Uncategorized | Tagged alternative, finances, lifestyle, sustainable | Leave a comment

Recipe: Creamy, Dreamy Corn Chowder

Posted on October 1, 2013 by This Woman Writes

It’s creamy, dreamy, inexpensive, yummy, and easy. Photo credit Steve Henderson Fine Art

It’s soup season! Finally, after a summer of sweltering our way through quick stir-fries that don’t heat up the kitchen, I find myself reaching for my sweater and the soup bowls, and Creamy, Dreamy Corn Chowder is a fast, easy, inexpensive dinner that uses good, cheap, poor-man’s-food ingredients.

If you want to eat well and healthily, as well as save money on your grocery bill, homemade soup is as easy or as difficult as you want to make it. And while it takes a bit longer than opening up a can and dumping the product into the pan, making soup yourself from fresh, good ingredients results in more soup for less money — and the leftovers taste better each day.

Can’t cook? Don’t underestimate yourself. Nobody is calling for you to be a five-star chef, and it shouldn’t be too difficult to produce something that tastes as good — and usually better — than a packaged product.

Creamy, Dreamy Corn Chowder — Makes 4-6 servings

Ingredients:

1/2 Pound Bacon, chopped

1 Onion, chopped

4-8 Garlic Cloves, minced (I like garlic; it’s good for you, and it adds just the right flavor)

2 Stalks Celery, diced (we grew celery in the garden this year for the first time — it’s thinner and leafier than what we buy in the store, but it’s also more fibrous, dense, and flavorful — probably because it grew in soil and not water)

3 Ears Corn, kernals cut off

Water

1 Tablespoon Beef Bouillon (I use organic Better Than Bouillon which I pick up at Costco)

2 Potatoes, medium sized, chunked

2 Cups Milk

2 Tablespoons Butter

Take a break before starting to watch our revised Santa YouTube video: watch Santa grow from a blank canvas to a finished painting by Steve Henderson:

Now that you’re feeling jolly and ready for the upcoming holiday season, let’s get started on lunch or dinner:

In a saute or frying pan, cook the bacon over medium heat for 5 minutes; add the onion and garlic, cook five minutes more, stirring to keep from burning. Add the celery and a quarter cup water; cook for another 10 minutes until everything is soft.

Dissolve the beef bouillon in 1 cup water; add this mixture and an additional 3 cups water to the celery/bacon mixture. Stir in the corn, cover, and let simmer while you prepare the potato thickener:

Cook the potatoes in water until softened. Drain off water (you don’t have to freak out about this; the whole mixture will be going into the bacon/celery soup mixture to thicken it). Mash the potatoes with the 2 cups milk and 2 tablespoons butter — it doesn’t have to be smooth, and you can use a hand masher, an immersion blender (my choice), a fork, or a mixer.

Stir the potato mixture into the simmering soup, turn the heat down to medium low, and let

The more you learn to do, independently, the better and freer you feel. Ocean Breeze, original oil painting by Steve Henderson; licensed open edition art print at Great Big Canvas.

heat up and thicken. Add salt to taste. If you are accustomed to prepared, canned, frozen, or boxed food, you may find that the soup is not salty enough, but as you become accustomed to eating more of what you prepare on your own, you may find that the salt in the bacon is enough.

Tuesdays you can find me through my food column, which incorporates good ingredients into good food that saves you money. I invite you to join me at my new column, Commonsense Christianity, at BeliefNet.com, where I post three times a week on . . . commonsense Christianity. God is a god of reason, but sometimes you wouldn’t know it by listening to some of the things said in His name.

Posted so far are Praying: How Specific Must We Be? and The Sinless Christian.

And, as always, I encourage you to look at my book, Live Happily on Less, which shows you how you can take the resources you have, and use them to the best of your advantage. This is not an easy economy in which to live, but rather than feel frightened or helpless, we learn to take care of ourselves and our family so that we can eat well, have a roof over our heads, and laugh at least once a week.