Are You Poor?

Were the people who used these pots poor? Or were they "normal" for their time? Chimu, original oil painting sold; signed limited edition print available at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Were the people who used these pots poor? Or were they “normal” for their time? Chimu, original oil painting sold; signed limited edition print available at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

“Poor” is such a wretched word, and most of us tend to get offended when it’s applied to us — that’s why we like the term, “middle class,” because even “lower middle class” is better than poor.

But who, or what, determines whether we are poor? And quite honestly, many of us who are worker bees frequently feel poor when the auto insurance premium arrives, or the property taxes are due, or the car breaks down. No matter how much we make, there never seems to be enough.

And the reason this matters is because we tend to judge ourselves, and others, by how much money comes in each year, with successful people bringing in a lot, and losers dribbling by on a little. There’s a reason why we don’t discuss personal finances at cocktail parties.

Depending upon where we live, we can be poor or rich with the same amount of money, in relation to how much money the people around us have. In our younger years, the Norwegian Artist and I lived in the broom closet of some friends in Colombia, South America; the house itself was a closed-off alleyway topped with a hybridized tin and clay tile roof. As Americans, we were automatically considered rich, and even though we lived extremely conservatively off of savings that we had worked years to put together, we were indeed wealthier than many of our neighbors, because we never worried about having enough to eat.

It galled us, however, to be compared to other Americans in the city, whose wealth was much more ostentatious than ours, and who skimped nothing when it came to buying clothes, eating out, and hiring servants. I washed our own clothes, by hand, in a cement cistern out back.

Several years ago, a chance acquaintance commented, “Americans spend so much more than people in third world countries — imagine what people could do with the amount of money that we get each month!”

The Good Life involves so much more than money. Afternoon Tea, original painting and signed limited edition print at Steve Henderson Fine Art; licensed open edition art print at Great Big Canvas.

The Good Life involves so much more than money. Afternoon Tea, original painting and signed limited edition print at Steve Henderson Fine Art; licensed open edition art print at Great Big Canvas.

While I agreed that a larger chunk of our society than it thinks has more money than it realizes, I pointed out that, in many third world countries, obligations that we have are not obligations that they have: every type of insurance imaginable, many — like auto insurance in our state — required by law. Onerous property, sales, and state/federal income taxes.  Endless fees tacked onto utility statements. Auto expenses, because in very few locales do we have decent and affordable public transportation.

And the little things you don’t notice: we change, and frequently wash, our clothes every day. We keep our houses up to a certain expected societal standard. We are embarrassed by a car more than 15 years old. We have less patience and tolerance for anything that is old, used up, worn out, or distressed, passing almost moral judgment upon others when they, or their stuff, looks ratty.

You are a precious, amazing, valuable person. Lilac Festival, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

You are a precious, amazing, valuable person. Lilac Festival, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Most of us will always wish we had more money, at least to the point that an unexpected broken arm (is something like this ever planned?) won’t drain the little bit of reserves we had set aside for a vacation. But in dealing with the stress of making what we have stretch as far as it can, let’s not add to our angst by comparing our lot with our neighbor’s, finding ourselves wanting, and putting ourselves down.

You are more than the amount you cash your paycheck for. Your value is not linked to the numbers in your bank account. By virtue of simply being a human being, you are an amazing, unique creation, and there is nobody else like you in the world.

You have places to go, things to do, and people to impact. Do not stop yourself, or let anyone else stop you, because you’re “poor.”

If finances are a concern for you (and they are for most of us), I encourage you to look at my book, Live Happily on Less (paperback, $12.99digital,  $5.99 at Amazon.com) which is a commonsense approach to dealing with your individual and family finances.

This article was originally published at ThoughtfulWomen.org

Join me at my new column, Commonsense Christianity, at BeliefNet. Today’s post is The Sinless Christian.

Posted in Art, blogging, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Economy, Encouragement, Faith, Family, frugal living, Green, Growth, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, money, News, Personal, Random, self-improvement, success, Uncategorized, Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Learning Problems: Does My Child Have One?

Of course I have to begin this article with a disclaimer: I am neither a doctor nor a professional educated in the issue of learning problems, so I am not out to diagnose you, your child, or your situation.
Experts agree: parents aren't nearly as important as they are. But be assured -- you, the parent, are the most important person in your child's life. Madonna and Toddler, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Experts agree: parents aren’t nearly as important as they are. But be assured — you, the parent, are the most important person in your child’s life. Madonna and Toddler, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

I’m just a parent, and like all parents, I am the one most concerned about my children, their lives, and their challenges — and this is something to remember when you are dealing with a child who, for some reason or another, just isn’t “getting it.” Though you may not be a lettered expert, you care more than any third party consultant, and do not underestimate how much you observe, question, research, agonize, hope, and pursue. Whatever challenges you and your child have, you are one of the most important people involved in the solving of them.

In the case of learning issues, it also doesn’t matter whether you are homeschooling (which is what my Thursday column focuses on) or participating in public or private school; with the former, you’re more on your own; with the latter, you work with a team of experts or professionals, which may or may not be a good or bad thing. Me? I like to limit the ingredients I put in the stew, and ensure that they are good ones.

We homeschooled four children with an age span of 9 years between the youngest and the oldest. Eldest Supreme, like many oldest children, was the embodiment of perfection, tackling the day’s assignments quickly, efficiently, and in a manner worthy to be praised.  Of course, she also had the tendency to move onto Chapter 56 of the math book even though she was still struggling with the concepts of Chapters 35-45, but if you looked at external factors alone, she did what was expected.

Child Number Two, whom I hesitate to call the Middle Child because of the look she gives me, exhibited what many people would instantly identify as symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADHD). She could not sit still. She was never quiet. Writing for more than five minutes was an agony, and she had to get a drink of water, use the bathroom, and teach the dog how to shake paws.

She wasn’t bad. She wasn’t disobedient, something Christian parents especially obsess about. She was just . . . busy.

She ran and jumped and played, and when she was all tired out, she read and wrote and learned. Reflection, original oil painting, signed limited edition print, at Steve Henderson Fine Art, licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

She ran and jumped and played, and when she was all tired out, she read and wrote and learned. Reflection, original oil painting, signed limited edition print, at Steve Henderson Fine Art, licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

And so, I gave her an option: “Why don’t you run to the mailbox (300 feet away) and see if we got anything?” When she returned, with the news that there was nothing, I suggested, “Why don’t you check again? The mail carrier may have come by now.”

Of course, this cleverly subtle ploy quickly palled, and I simply encouraged her, every 30-45 minutes, to run around the property for 20 minutes or so, getting in Physical Education on an incremental basis. When she returned from her forays, she was able to sit, focus, and complete whatever task was before her that took less than 30 minutes.

As an adult, she told me this:

“Running around, between subjects, helped me. I had a lot of energy, and it expelled it so that I was able to sit and read, or write, or do math for awhile, and concentrate. I felt successful.

“You didn’t make me feel stupid. You didn’t make me feel like there was something wrong with me. You didn’t resort to a medication because the people around you said you should. You accepted the way I am and and found a creative way to work around it.”

Focus on Your Goal -- the education and well being of your children. Take time, ask questions, and be confident that your opinion is a valuable one. Inspirational poster by Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Focus on Your Goal — the education and well being of your children. Take time, ask questions, and be confident that your opinion is a valuable one. Inspirational poster by Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Today? This child works multiple jobs with amazing, incredible, yet focused energy. She runs, she bikes, she swims, she lifts weights — and she reads Jane Austen. She doesn’t watch TV, play video games, or spend hours on Facebook, all of which our society calls normal. She is in phenomenal shape.

Your child, and your situation, will be different. I am not telling you to not use drugs, or to use drugs — but I am encouraging you to include yourself in the panel of experts you are consulting, and to listen to yourself — and your child — as you make your decisions.

Always remember this: NOBODY cares about you, or your family, as much as you do.

All four of my children write, and write well, and they never used a workbook. They simply wrote, using basic, easy to understand principles, that I outline in my book Grammar Despair: Quick, simple solutions to problems like, “Do I say Him and Me or He and I?”

Give it a try, and if nothing else, read it yourself so that you feel more confident about your own writing. $8.99 paperback$5.99 digital at Amazon.com. Also available at Barnes and Noble.

“Carolyn does a great job of addressing common grammar issues and showing the reader how to work those out in their everyday writing. This can be used as a reference or as a daily or weekly lesson book.” — Amazon reader review

Posted in Art, blogging, children, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Education, Encouragement, Faith, Family, grandparenting, Growth, health, home, homeschooling, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, News, Parenting, Personal, Random, Relationships, school, self-improvement, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Oppression and Impoverishment, American Style

Lush and beautiful, like this Field of Dreams, is NOT how the Israeli land looked like after the Midianites camped there. Field of Dreams original oil painting by Steve Henderson of Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Lush and beautiful, like this Field of Dreams, is NOT how the Israeli land looked like after the Midianites camped there. Field of Dreams original oil painting by Steve Henderson of Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Say, have you heard from the Midianites lately? Also known as Ishmaelites, they were an ancient Biblical people who regularly oppressed the Hebrews. One of the more memorable stories about them involved Gideon, the guy who kept flipping the sheep skin around asking God to dampen it first, then dry it. You can find the whole account in Judges chapters 6 and 7.

Anyway, back then, in Israel’s dark days when “Israel had no king (and) everyone did as he saw fit,” (Judges 17:6), what many people thought fit involved practices that God wasn’t too excited about, “and for seven years he gave them into the hands of the Midianites.” (Judges 6:1).

This amazing understatement doesn’t begin to describe the damage that the Midianites, which are depicted as swarms of locusts, did to Israel’s land and people. Masses of the invaders migrated through on a regular basis, setting up camp, eating and destroying everything, not sparing “a living thing for Israel, neither sheep nor cattle nor donkeys . . . Midian so impoverished the Israelites that they cried out to the Lord for help.”

As I was reading through the passage this morning, I was interrupted by a call from College Girl, whose recent trip to the emergency room for a concussion resulted in $1,000 worth of bills landing in her mailbox — that after the $5,000 that the insurance paid. Like most impoverished people, she waited to go in, and after an MRI and a series of additional expensive tests — which were performed primarily for the safety of the hospital — she was told what she pretty much already knew: she had a concussion, and there was nothing that could be done about it but rest and taking it easy. That will be $6,000 please.

Woefully missing from the conversation between the hospital and College Girl was any sense of compassion or care. Seaside Story, Steve Henderson licensed open edition art print through Great Big Canvas.

Woefully missing from the conversation between the hospital and College Girl was any sense of compassion or care. Seaside Story, Steve Henderson licensed open edition art print through Great Big Canvas.

No actual bill arrived but a notification that one would be on its way. The next piece of paper had OVERDUE stamped upon it. The bill, two months after the procedure, was on its way to the collection agency. When College Girl called to see if she could take advantage of charitable care, given that her income falls right within the margins of the people this program is supposed to care about, she was told that it was too late.

And I thought about the Midianites, who “invaded the land to ravage it.”

Now lest you think I’m picking on the medical establishment, I’m not — there are lots of people invading our land to ravage it, many groups and companies and government entities and tax assessing organizations that impoverish us, especially those who are impoverished already. Mandatory insurance, property taxes, federal and state income and sundry taxes, assorted fees tacked onto every utility bill, revolving bonds, automobile license plates that need to be changed every 5-7 years, banking charges, bridge tolls (I’m waiting for the coin operated restroom stalls to return) — it goes on, and on, and on — and for many people of ordinary means, the limited paycheck they get back after taxes are taken out is eaten up and eaten into by things they themselves can’t eat, or wear, or take pleasure in.

And so where is Gideon, and whom will he fight?

We are small, vulnerable people in a world that is out to use and abuse us, but we serve a God who is more powerful than all. It is wise to stay close to Him. Bold Innocence, Steve Henderson licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas; signed limited edition print at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

We are small, vulnerable people in a world that is out to use and abuse us, but we serve a God who is more powerful than all. It is wise to stay close to Him. Bold Innocence, Steve Henderson licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas; signed limited edition print at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

You and I, my friend, are Gideon, and we fight by standing up, and speaking out against what is wrong, and supporting vulnerable people who are oppressed by powerful magnates who hide behind corporations, agencies, and establishments. The Establishment of Man — all of it — is designed to promote the interests of a few, and it is always wise to remember that, for Christians, our faith, trust, and hope lie in God, not our government, our schools, our hospitals, our Solons, our lawyers, our banks, our businesses, or our churches — mega or not — when they mimic the practices of the other establishments.

Only as individuals seeking to walk closely with God do we have any significance or power — and that comes not from ourselves, but from the God we are walking beside. What He calls us to do may be as small as saying, in a group, “That’s an unkind thing to say,” and for some, that will be a very scary thing to do indeed. But that’s where we start.

Gideon defeated the Midianites with 300 men, because God did not want Israel to “boast against me that her own strength has saved her.” (Judges 7:2) Whatever challenges and wrongs that there are to fight in this society, this country, and this time, God is calling His people to address them.

And when He calls us to do something, it’s frequently different from what we’re accustomed to; we may look weird to the people around us; and we don’t necessarily come out of the experience with pots and pots of money, celebrity fame, or even the remnants of our reputation.

Are we listening?

Following God isn't a groupie thing -- when He calls us, we frequently walk a narrow path with only Him at our side. Leave the Crowd Behind inspirational poster, based upon Last Light in Zion  oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Following God isn’t a groupie thing — when He calls us, we frequently walk a narrow path with only Him at our side. Leave the Crowd Behind inspirational poster, based upon Last Light in Zion oil painting by Steve Henderson.

Join me on Wednesdays for my Contempo Christianity articles, which address living as a real Christian in the 21st century.

And speaking of the 21st century, I invite you to read a recent post in my Financial Health series, America: What Is the New Normal? If finances are a concern for you, I encourage you to look at my book, Live Happily on Less (paperback, $12.99digital,  $5.99 at Amazon.com) which is a commonsense approach to dealing with your individual and family finances.

NOBODY cares about your life, your family, your finances, your dreams, or your situation as much as you do, and if you’re going to get anywhere in these areas, it’s up to you to take the initiative.

Posted in Art, blogging, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Economy, Encouragement, Faith, Family, frugal living, Growth, health, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, Random, religion, saving money, self-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Spirit of Christmas

Send the magic of Christmas to your friends and family with a Christmas Card of Steve Henderson's Christmas Story. You can even get the cards signed by the artist.

Send the magic of Christmas to your friends and family with a Christmas Card of Steve Henderson’s Christmas Story. You can even get the cards signed by the artist.

From Start Your Week with Steve, the free weekly e-mail newsletter from Steve Henderson Fine Art:

Steve Says:

Every year, when Christmas rolls around, people sigh and say,

“This is such a wonderful time of year. If only we could keep this sense of peace, joy, and goodwill toward men all year round.”

There’s really no reason why we can’t. Considering that many of us are cheerful and forgiving during a holiday that falls during the gloomiest weather of the year (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere), it should be a snap to be this way during better weather.

But of course it isn’t.

It takes effort to be kind, work to overlook people’s foibles, practice to opt not to be offended, even when we have a right to be. But this is, after all, the Spirit of Christmas, and when you think of all the good feelings it engenders during a 5-6 week period, it’s a worthy goal to reach for.

From the original to a greeting card, Steve's Christmas paintings can be a part of your holidays. These Gifts Are Better Than Toys by Steve Henderson.

From the original to a greeting card, Steve’s Christmas paintings can be a part of your holidays. These Gifts Are Better Than Toys by Steve Henderson.

World peace is a stretch, although beauty pageant contestants never fail to mention it. Rather than go for the impossible, we can all — individually — decide to try for the possible: once a day, we can let something slide, smile when we want to frown, bite our tongues and keep silent when it’s simply our pride at stake.

And then we can enjoy a small piece of that Spirit of Christmas every day.

By the way, my Santa Christmas Collection page on the Steve Henderson Website features my original Santa paintings, signed limited edition prints, 14 x 11 matte posters, and Greeting Cards — the latter which you can get signed for that extra feeling of good cheer.

Read the rest — The New Normal, Steve’s show at the Wenaha Gallery, at Start Your Week with Steve.

It's never too early, or too late, to think about Christmas. Little Angel Bright by Steve Henderson

It’s never too early, or too late, to think about Christmas. Little Angel Bright by Steve Henderson

Find and buy Steve’s art in the following online venues:

  • Steve Henderson Fine Art (Inspirational posters begin at $10.95; original paintings and signed limited edition prints for reachable, reasonable p
Posted in Art, Beauty, blogging, Business, children, Christian, Christmas, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family, grandparenting, Growth, holiday, home, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, News, Parenting, Personal, Random, Relationships, santa, self-improvement, shopping, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Too Impatient to Homeschool

Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Homeschooling is Great! Just couldn't resist the pun. Little Angel Bright by Steve Henderson -- original oil painting, signed limited edition print, and poster.

Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Homeschooling is Great! Just couldn’t resist the pun. Little Angel Bright by Steve Henderson — original oil painting, signed limited edition print, and poster.

In twenty years of homeschooling, the most frequent comment I have heard about the activity, from people who don’t do it, is:

“I could never homeschool! I’m simply not patient enough!”

This one ties, actually, with the most frequent question,

“How will your children ever by normally socialized if they don’t go to public school?”

I’ve always laughed at that latter one: you mean that mobs of children, all the same age, crowded together and peer pressuring one another all day long, is normal?

But back to this patient thing: I always smile at that one, too, because quite frankly, I am not the world’s most patient person. Who is?

When you homeschool, it’s important that you never forget the

It's a great big world out there, and no teacher -- parent, public, or private -- can know everything about anything. Off the Grid, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

It’s a great big world out there, and no teacher — parent, public, or private — can know everything about anything. Off the Grid, original oil painting by Steve Henderson.

insidious effect of sub-conscious insecurity. Parent teachers, because they operate largely on their own, frequently wonder,

“Am I doing this right?”

“Do I really know how to teach this?”

“What if I’m getting this wrong?”

Whether we realize it or not, questions like this are always dancing about in the back of our heads — and it doesn’t help that society questions our intellectual qualifications as well — so that, if a child doesn’t spell well by a certain age, or isn’t reading at a particular level, or simply cannot understand the clock face and hands, we blame ourselves. In a larger traditional schoolroom, with more kids milling about, it’s acceptable to blame the child, or the parents.

So recognize that one of the reasons you may be getting impatient is because your child isn’t “getting it” fast enough, and that can be for a variety of reasons, not necessarily your inadequacy as an instructor. When Eldest Supreme was 6, she went through a math program that prided itself on being intuitive, tapping into the inner child, so to speak, and loosely presenting concepts that the child would readily understand and adapt.

Taking time to stop and reflect is important when you are homeschooling. Reflection, original oil painting, signed limited edition print, and open edition print, at Steve Henderson Fine Art and Great Big Canvas.

Taking time to stop and reflect is important when you are homeschooling. Reflection, original oil painting, signed limited edition print, and open edition print, at Steve Henderson Fine Art and Great Big Canvas.

“Loosely” is a vast understatement. While it wasn’t an issue when we were discussing counting and basic adding and subtracting, something that a child of six frequently can do, everything fell apart when the curriculum decided to introduce fractions (“Split up fun!”), elementary algebraic concepts, and division — this latter before multiplication, and again, when the child was 6. Six!

Initially I got frustrated — impatient — with Eldest Supreme because, not surprisingly, she wasn’t “getting it,” and the easiest thing was to blame her and not the impossibly frustrating, expecting-way-more-out-of-a-child-than-reality-dictates workbook curriculum. Eventually, I got it myself, and skipped pages that weren’t appropriate (this wasn’t particularly difficult because the curriculum itself was in no particular order, and concepts introduced on page 10 would never be heard from again).

This also illustrates a potential pitfall when you rely too heavily upon curriculum: you bought it, someone — supposedly with expertise — developed it, and by golly you’re going to get through each and every page. But as my math nightmare with Eldest Supreme shows, this doesn’t always — actually usually doesn’t — work.

Ultimately, the problem of patience isn’t so much whether you have enough of it or not — I’m guessing that in everyday life you’re a reasonably mature person who doesn’t go around kicking dogs, and you can work a half-hour at a time cooking, or gardening, or driving, without getting into a screaming rage. The problem of patience is often whether or not you have enough confidence to know that you’re going about your activity, like homeschooling, in a sensible manner, and if perfect results don’t show up instantly, this isn’t because you — YOU — are a massive failure.

If you haven’t read it already, I encourage you to read my article, Why Do You Homeschool? which addresses this crucial issue of parent

Money's tight, but it doesn't have to squeeze your lifestyle. Live Happily on Less at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

Money’s tight, but it doesn’t have to squeeze your lifestyle. Live Happily on Less at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

teacher confidence. Thursdays I write about family and homeschooling for this site, This Woman Writes, and you can see the collection of articles in the Homeschooling section of the site.

If you’re like our family was, you are not enjoying the financial benefits of a double income, and money is always a factor to be considered. I encourage you to buy, or borrow on Amazon Prime, my book, Live Happily on Less, which discusses real and realistic ways to make the most of the resources you have. It’s in both paperback and digital (cheap!!!!! $5.99!) versions at Amazon.com, and in paperback at Barnes and Noble.

Posted in Art, blogging, books, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Education, Encouragement, Family, grandparenting, home, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, News, Parenting, Personal, Random, school, self-improvement, success, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Worrying about the Future

It's been awhile since he was a little boy, but don't they always stay that way in our minds and hearts? Summer Breeze, original oil painting at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

It’s been awhile since he was a little boy, but don’t they always stay that way in our minds and hearts? Summer Breeze, original oil painting at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

He’s 19, chronically cryptic, and probably fine. The last e-mail we received — three weeks ago — mentioned that on weekends, he camps out in the wilds of Alaska in a $35 pup tent.

“Yeah, I’ve seen a few bears,” he mentioned.

“He” is the Son and Heir, working at a remote resort — no cell phone service — for the season. Never one for excessive communication — “How’s it going? Tell me everything!” “Fine” — he exceeded our expectations when he e-mailed, or called from the resort landline, once a week.

But then the weeks went by and there was nothing. And it was his birthday, and there was nothing. And while we weren’t necessarily panicking, we snatched at any information we could find — “His paycheck was automatically deposited last week, so he’s still working!”

Two parents, three sisters, all checking in on one another to see if anyone has heard anything.

Finally, I’d had enough. I called the resort directly and asked if the Son and Heir was breathing anywhere on the premises. The gift shop associate found him and dragged him to the phone.

“Oh, hi mom. I’ve been meaning to call you. I’m fine.”

It was an excessive amount of information to process quickly and all at once, but I managed.

You hold them in your heart when you can no longer hold them in your arms. Seaside Story, licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas and Light in the Box.

You hold them in your heart when you can no longer hold them in your arms. Seaside Story, licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas and Light in the Box.

Anybody who has kids knows that you can’t be there for them all the time, and the older they get, the more they’re gone — doing things you’d prefer to hear about only after they’ve finished doing them, and even then it’s questionable whether you really want to know. If you spent your time trying to piece together the limited information at your disposal to come up with an idea of what is — or could potentially be — happening in their lives, you will drive yourself mad with frustration and fear.

You simply do not have enough information.

We never do, actually, at any point in our lives. Though circumstances are a grand part of each day’s existence, they’re not enough to predict the future, but that doesn’t stop us from trying. We look at where we are, what we’re doing, how we’re feeling, what the boss said as she passed by our desk (and what did she really mean by that, anyway?) and come to conclusions that usually don’t come true.

We can rejoice knowing that a good and loving Father has His eye on us, always, even when it doesn't feel like it. See all of the inspirational posters at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

We can rejoice knowing that a good and loving Father has His eye on us, always, even when it doesn’t feel like it. See all of the inspirational posters at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

We lose our job and we worry that we will never work again, the house will foreclose, the dog will die, and our teeth will fall out because the dental insurance went with the weekly paycheck. Although Jesus tells us to not be anxious (“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” Matthew 6:27) and Paul reminds us that we live by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7), we persist in looking at what we see and drawing conclusions from what this seems.

At some point, what we see and the conclusions we draw exceed our ability to cope, and the problems we face go “. . . far beyond our ability to endure,” as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9, “so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death.”

I’ve felt that way — facing a future that looks bleak indeed — and not seeing anything, anywhere that will change that. But there’s the rest of the verse:

“But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope.”

When the apostle Paul talks about deadly peril, he really means the “deadly” part, but wherever we are, whatever we are facing, we have the same hope he had in a God that not only is so great and powerful that He can do anything, but so loving and compassionate that He hears our desperate cry.

He will deliver us. On him we have set our hope.

Speaking of hope, my Norwegian Artist, Steve Henderson,

Art is affordable, especially when you talk to, and buy from, the artist directly. Contact us at carolyn@stevehendersonfineart.com.

Art is affordable, especially when you talk to, and buy from, the artist directly. Contact us at carolyn@stevehendersonfineart.com.

paints beauty, inspiration and hope in his landscapes, seascapes, figurative, and seasonal work. And he makes it affordable by offering it in a variety of formats — originals, prints, licensed work, posters. You are always free to contact me, Carolyn, at carolyn@stevehendersonfineart.com for information on how you can own one of Steve’s beautiful artworks.

Manufacturers and retailers — license Steve’s work through Art Licensing

This article was originally published in ThoughtfulWomen.org

Posted in Art, Beauty, blogging, children, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Encouragement, Faith, Family, Growth, home, homeschooling, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, Motherhood, News, Parenting, Personal, Random, Relationships, religion, self-improvement, spirituality | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Recipe: Mexi-Thai Fusion Delusion

What a fun combination of flavors and texture -- and the drink? It's Kombucha. Photo credit Steve Henderson Fine Art.

What a fun combination of flavors and texture — and the drink? It’s Kombucha. Photo credit Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Cross-cultural food marriages add spice — literally — to life, and this fusion of Mexican food with Thai stir fry is a fun and exciting taste sensation. Anytime you get away from the old pot roast/mashed potatoes/sad boiled vegetables fare you’re poised to win, and when you incorporate your meat, vegetables, and starch together, it’s amazing how much good food you can slip down the gullet of even the pickiest eater.

(By the way, if you’ve got a picky eater, check and see if you’re doing one of these two things:

1) Serving all your food compartmentalized, as in meat/potatoes/vegetables — this just encourages people to pick out what they like and avoid what they don’t, and they get really, really freaked out when the juice from the corn leaks onto the potatoes.

2) Eating prepared foods — boxed, bagged, frozen, reconstituted, from the drive-in — commercial food is laden with preservatives and additives that subtly change the flavor from real to artificial, and if you eat too much of this, you get accustomed to salty and sweet.

The more real food you eat, prepared with fresh ingredients that are, preferably seasonal, the more experimental you get about what you put in your mouth. Eating becomes an adventure, not an obligation, or an addiction.)

Mexi-Thai Chicken Fusion Delusion: Serves 2 full meals; 3-4 lighter servings

Ingredients:

Corn Tortillas — 4 (check out my recipe for Homemade Corn

Need art? Of course you do. Open edition prints are an affordable way to get beauty on your wall.

Need art? Of course you do. Open edition prints are an affordable way to get beauty on your wall.

Tortillas; these work especially well in this dish since they have a very strong, very pronounced corn flavor)

Coconut oil — 3 Tablespoons, divided

2 Chicken Thighs or Breasts, cut into 3/4 inch pieces and coated in flour (I used Kamut, an ancient grain)

2 tsp. Curry paste (I used Mai Ploy brand yellow curry paste because that’s what I had on hand; green and red curry paste would work as well, but I strongly recommend the Mai Ploy brand; I found mine in an Asian grocery store).

2 shallots or 1 small onion, diced

3 garlic cloves, minced

Water — 4 Tablespoons, divided

1 stalk celery, finely chopped

1 zucchini, diced or chopped

2 Tablespoons fresh Thai basil, finely minced (you can use regular basil if you don’t have Thai basil, and you can dispense with the basil completely if you don’t have it. If you’ve never tried growing herbs in a small pot, experiment; during the warm weather you can keep them outside; when it gets cold, you bring them inside, and you just keep pinching off the flowers — and using them — so that the plant doesn’t bolt).

1 small tomato, chopped

salt to taste

Melt two tablespoons coconut oil in a frying pan until hot. Add the floured chicken cubes and stir around over medium high heat until the chicken is cooked through, about five minutes. Remove chicken to a small plate and keep warm.

Add a third tablespoon of coconut oil to the pan, heat until hot, and add the yellow curry paste. Stir this for 30 seconds, quickly to keep from burning, and then add shallots, garlic, and 2 tablespoons water. Cook and stir for two minutes at medium high.

Add celery and cook for another two minutes.

Add zucchini and 2 more tablespoons water; cook and stir for another two minutes until zucchini is soft but not squishy.

Sprinkle in chopped basil and stir for another 30 seconds. Pull pan off heat.

Place two tortillas on each plate. Divide vegetable mix evenly ever the four tortillas; top with chicken and tomatoes.

Add salt as you eat — there’s a little salt in the tortillas, and, intriguingly, salt in the curry powder, so it’s easy to oversalt this dish unless you consciously decide to use less during cooking, and add more later.

If you’re accustomed to eating prepared or boxed food, this dish won’t taste salty enough; but as you adjust your diet and your palate to fresh ingredients, seasonally prepared, you’ll find that you use significantly less salt, and your tolerance for it decreases. You start to taste the food.

Money's tight, but it doesn't have to squeeze your lifestyle. Live Happily on Less at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

Money’s tight, but it doesn’t have to squeeze your lifestyle. Live Happily on Less at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

It’s my mantra: learn to cook. There are three good reasons to do this:

1) You create, as opposed to consume. We do far too little of the former and far to much of the latter. Creating gives us a sense of confidence and independence.

2) You eat better. Fresh food, prepared right here and now, is better than the stuff you get out of the box or bag. Flip a box of something, anything, over sometime and see all the unpronounceable additives and artificial ingredients that you are pumping into your body.

3) You save money. Really. A box of Mac-Attack may seem cheap, and in some ways it is, but the better you get at cooking, the more you save money by doing it. And speaking of saving money, I recommend my book, Live Happily on Less, as an easy read that will get you on the path to using your personal resources, your personal way, to save you and your household money. Save even more by buying the digital version.

Posted in Art, blogging, cooking, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, dinner idea, Encouragement, Family, finances, Food, frugal living, gardening, Growth, home, homeschooling, homesteading, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, Random, recipe, saving money, self-improvement, success | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Learning Curve

Own original art. Its beauty lasts beyond our lifetimes.

Own original art. Its beauty lasts beyond our lifetimes.

From Start Your Week with Steve, the weekly e-mail newsletter of Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Steve Says:

Carolyn wrote an article for Fine Art Views called Your Learning Curve, which addresses, well, our learning curve, and how sometimes we don’t embark upon a new project because we’re afraid that we won’t do it right the first time.

What we need to realize is that, in all likelihood, we will NOT do it right the first, or even second, or third time, but unless we get started at some point, we won’t know what to correct, because we’re not doing anything at all.

When it comes to my artwork, what I put out is the result of years and years and years of practice, hard work, learning, skill, and creativity, so what results is, indeed, very good, but the quality wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for all of the learning that came beforehand. Suffice it to say that, when I was 13, I didn’t paint anywhere near what I paint like now.

So it is with everything we do. When we first start, we must remember that we are first starting, and the expertise and ability will not come about without a tremendous amount of trying, making mistakes, and correcting those mistakes. Unless and until we come to this realization, we won’t start anything at all.

My present learning curve involves my Step by Step Watercolor Success YouTube video, which I am revising and reworking with the new movie maker software I have purchased, along with some very hard earned and well learned experience in how to use the product. I’m hoping to launch the revised video within the next couple weeks, and I’ll let you know when it is done.

Those of you who have purchased a DVD or download of Step by Step Watercolor Success will receive a free download of the new digital workshop when it is ready. I think you’ll be really excited at the additions and changes!

Read the rest at Start Your Week with Steve.

Find and buy Steve’s art in the following online venues:

Check out our open edition prints page on the Steve Henderson Fine Art website.

Check out our open edition prints page on the Steve Henderson Fine Art website.

Manufacturers and retailers — license Steve’s work through Art Licensing

Posted in Art, art education, blogging, Business, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Education, Encouragement, Family, Growth, home, homeschooling, inspirational, instruction, Life, Lifestyle, News, Personal, Random, self-improvement | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Food Stamps and Finances

Food is a beautiful gift and a resource. The  Fruit Vendor, original oil painting by Steve Henderson, sold

Food is a beautiful gift and a resource. The Fruit Vendor, original oil painting by Steve Henderson, sold

I ran into a blog post this week that asked, Is using food stamps a sin? You’ve got to admit, the headline was catchy.

The writer described her pastor’s stance on the issue (“Yes, it’s a sin”) and to her credit, she disagreed. I am always encouraged when we minions question what’s preached in the pulpit, blared at us from the flat screen, or pronounced at the front of a classroom. It shows that we’re still breathing.

The pastor’s opinion was standard fare: people who take government assistance are lazy, and lazy people are sinners. Boy, I’m sure glad that I don’t go to that church. What’s funny is that part of the speaker’s salary probably comes from donations of people on food stamps, although, maybe not after this particular sermon.

But back to the issue, which we’re not describing, or worrying about as being a sin — what if you, or someone you know, is on public assistance? Are you, or they, financially inept? Do you have any right to talk about finances since you’re obviously so bad at them that you can’t get by without a handout?

Many hardworking middle class families can't take advantage of the mortgage tax deduction because they don't make, or spend, enough. Homeland 1, original oil painting by Steve Henderson sold; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Many hardworking middle class families can’t take advantage of the mortgage tax deduction because they don’t make, or spend, enough. Homeland 1, original oil painting by Steve Henderson sold; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Whoa, let’s back up here. My favorite concept of a government handout has always been the eminently respectable mortgage tax break, in which one is allowed to deduct the interest paid on one’s house mortgage. While this sounds great and middle class and everything, the more money you pay in interest — which means the more expensive your house and the larger your income is to afford it — the more you benefit from this break. Realistically, the people who get the most out of this sweet deal are those who really don’t need the money to put food on the table. In other words, if they’re middle class, they’re in the upper regions.

And they’re benefiting from a government program, just like people on food stamps, or energy assistance, or health insurance subsidization, only they probably don’t experience the demeaning aspects of standing in line, hat in hand, to fill out forms and be shunted off to the waiting room.

Don’t get me wrong — people cheat the system — rich or poor; it just looks different and is called by different names. But many programs are supposed to be safety nets, and while they don’t work perfectly or even well (what government program, really, ever does?), they wouldn’t be as necessary if more employers hired fulltime workers and paid them decently. For one reason or another — from corporate greed to just the economy, stupid — too many people are underpaid and unable to meet basic necessities.

Your private life is your private life, and it's your prerogative to do it your way. I Do I My Way inspirational poster based upon the original painting, Cadence. See all inspirational posters at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Your private life is your private life, and it’s your prerogative to do it your way. I Do It My Way inspirational poster based upon the original painting, Cadence. See all inspirational posters at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

If you are one of these people, or related to one (parents with grown children negotiating the New Economy come to mind), remember this: your finances are your own business, just like your sex life, the latter which we dearly wish more people would keep the details of out of the newspapers and talk shows.

Because each family, and its financial situation, is unique, each family individually negotiates what it has been given, and nobody has the right to get in your face and call you a reprobate because you bought potato chips with your EBT card. People outside your family have no idea if this is part of your regular diet, or a once a year purchase for your child’s birthday.

And anyway, individual people in the grocery store line are not the ones we need to be yelling at.

Times are hard, jobs are scarce; pensions and perks in most of the private sector are non-existent; wages have not kept up with housing, transportation, food, or medical care; the public sector is bloated: these are problems, and most of America is set adrift to figure out how to make a decent living and craft a reasonable life with a significant number of enormous challenges.

If you’re struggling, and having a hard time, don’t add to the stress by belittling yourself. If you need help, get it, and don’t feel as if you have to defend your actions.

If you’re doing okay, and life is good, look around: there are a lot of

Free yourself from always worrying about money. Live Happily on Less will guide you to making the decisions that are right for you and your family. At amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

Free yourself from always worrying about money. Live Happily on Less will guide you to making the decisions that are right for you and your family. At amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

hurting people out there, and if you paid for one of them to get his teeth cleaned and a cavity filled, or bought a birthday cake for her 10-year old twins, or just smiled instead of frowned in the checkout line, you’d make a difference.

Join me on Fridays for articles on Financial Health for the regular, ordinary person — that’s what I am: a regular, ordinary person who uses what I have been given to live the best life that I can. My book, Live Happily on Less, is a series of essays — like the one you just read — that explore how you can make the money you get stretch farther.

We own our own house, and have never had a mortgage on it. We bought our car with cash. We run a business — Steve Henderson Fine Art — which has no creditors. And we raised four really decent kids — and most of the time we had a very moderate income at our disposal. Your life will look different from ours, but the essential things — learning to live contentedly and well whatever your situation — is in your grasp.

Live Happily on Less retails for $12.99 paperback at Amazon or Barnes and Noble, but it’s generally on sale. Digital, it’s $5.99 — as a happy reader reviewer said — ” . . . if you are reading this on your Kindle, then you too are already on your way to living happily on less!” And if you’re an Amazon Prime member, you can borrow the book for free.

This article was originally posted in ThoughtfulWomen.org.

Posted in Art, blogging, books, Christian, Culture, Current Events, Daily Life, Economy, Encouragement, Faith, Family, finances, frugal living, Growth, home, homeschooling, inspirational, Life, Lifestyle, money, News, Personal, Random, saving money, self-improvement, shopping | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Homeschooling: What Does a Normal Day Look Like?

Maybe you'll use desks, maybe you won't -- how you homeschool is up to you and your family. Embrace Each Day inspirational poster, one of many available at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

Maybe you’ll use desks, maybe you won’t — how you homeschool is up to you and your family. Embrace Each Day inspirational poster, one of many available at Steve Henderson Fine Art.

When you homeschool, it’s easy to get obsessed with the word “normal.”

By its very nature, homeschooling is countercultural, so from the first day you start classes, you’re not normal, culturally speaking. Because you have no paradigm or standard from which to work, you can easily get into the habit of asking yourself,

“Am I doing this right?”

“Is this normal?”

“Should I be doing things a certain way?”

And you start looking around at the way other people do things, and while this isn’t a bad thing from a research standpoint, we rarely leave it at the research level. We compare Their kids with Our kids, Their curriculum choices with Our curriculum choices, Their schedule with Ours. Some people go out of their way to push themselves into other people’s faces, holding themselves, and their way of doing things, as the gold standard for everyone else.

Don’t fall into this trap.

If you want to figure out what your homeschooling day should look like, the first question to ask yourself is this,

Your highly unique family will do things your own colorful way. Mesa Walk, licensed art print by Steve Henderson at Great Big Can vas

Your highly unique family will do things your own colorful way. Mesa Walk, licensed art print by Steve Henderson at Great Big Can vas

“What does my non-homeschooling day look like? In other words, what does a typical day in our household look like?”

That’s a very good place to start.

We knew a family of six that did not begin functioning until 10 in the morning. That’s when everyone got up and started asking about breakfast. Another family — it woke up at 5:30  — looked down on the dirty half-dozen, subtly “encouraging” with Proverbs that referred to slothfulness and sleeping late. This same family shut down at 7 p.m.

Our lazy family, however, energetically read, ran, studied, wrote, played games, and just did general stuff until midnight, when they crashed. Every child had a certain amount of schoolwork to get through and they got through it, some of them finishing at 2 p.m. and others working until 7 or 8.

Aside from mis-quoted Bible verses, the major communication to this family was that their lifestyle was not normal, and that if their children did not learn to get up early like everybody else, they would not succeed in life.

“We developed this schedule because of my husband’s work hours,” the matriarch told me. “He worked the graveyard shift and slept late into the morning. We shifted our hours so that the kids got up later and stayed up later, and they were able to see him more.”

So, for this family, their weird schedule was normal. And apparently not all jobs require you to rise at 4:30 a.m.

So, how long of a day should your homeschooling day be?

Remember the "home" part in "homeschool." Sophie and Rose, original oil painting and signed limited edition print at Steve Henderson Fine Art; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Remember the “home” part in “homeschool.” Sophie and Rose, original oil painting and signed limited edition print at Steve Henderson Fine Art; licensed open edition print at Great Big Canvas.

Well, that’s customizable too, with designated study time being significantly shorter when you’re talking about young children, and progressing to longer — or more subject matter — when the kids get older. Keep in mind the length of a public school day — 7 hours — and deduct three hours for lunch, distractions, class changes, attendance, and all the time inhalers involved with moving teeming bodies of human beings from one room to the next.

That leaves you roughly four hours of highly concentrated time with which to work, again, taking into account the age of your child. We always looked at the big, yearly picture, asking ourselves — what do we want to accomplish this year with this child? and purchased the necessary books or resources to reach for that goal. We then loosely, and realistically, divided up each math book, science text, and volumes of literature over a period of 7-9 months to determine how much needed to be done each day to, hopefully, finish the book (do you remember, ever, finishing a text book in public school?)

And then we watched the kids. Were they mentally exhausted at the end of the day? Or were they bored because there wasn’t enough to do? Usually it’s something in between, and we adjusted the work load to something they could consistently, and with quality, finish in a 3-5 hour total time frame, taking into account a 9 – 15 year old student.

That worked for us, and it was fluid — because part of the benefits of homeschooling is that you are not obligated to adhere to a rigid code and schedule set up to keep large educational establishment smoothly running.

It’s Home. School. Both words matter.

When it comes to homeschooling, you probably can’t do

Teaching writing, and writing itself, can be quite fun. Paperback and digital version at Amazon.com

Teaching writing, and writing itself, can be quite fun. Paperback and digital version at Amazon.com

wrong by relaxing, since our default tendency is to get tight, really really tight. One of these areas we obsess about is writing, investing in all sorts of grammar sheets and essay workbooks and research projects, but it doesn’t have to be as difficult as we make it.

I taught my kids how to write — and write well — with the information I later put into my book, Grammar Despair: Quick, simple solutions to problems like “Do I say him and me or he and I?” This inexpensive, easy to read volume is used in college level writing courses — you know, the ones you’re training your kids to get through some day. At $8.99 paperback ($5.99 Kindle), it’ll be one of the least expensive resource materials you’ll buy this year.

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